You’ve probably heard of Kerry Prendergast. Love her or hate her, she’s the Mayor of Wellington City. She’s the one that thought the Wellywood sign was a good idea. Yeah, her. Remember?

In a few weeks time, if you’ve been organised enough to change your details on the electoral roll, you’ll get you chance to have a say on who leads this city for the next three years. It’s democracy in action, or something like that.

Turnout for local body elections has always been significantly lower than that for general elections—and young people are even less likely than the rest of the population to bother filling out their postal ballot forms and sending them back.

While, no doubt, apathy plays a significant part in our reluctance to vote in local body elections, a general lack of awareness of the function of local councils—not to mention District Health Boards—and what they do on a day-to-day basis means that we don’t feel like we have a vested interest or reason to participate.

Then, of course, there is the perception that the council is just a bunch of old people sitting around talking schmack about rates, water, roads and other unimportant shit. But think about it: Do you put your rubbish out to be collected in those yellow rubbish bags? How about that recycling? Have you got a resident’s permit to park your car on the street outside your house? Do you frequent any of the parks around the city, the Botans perhaps? This is all ‘stuff’ the council, and we as residents of Wellington, deal with every day.

The problem is that councils don’t often appear ‘relevant’ to young people. Attempts to get youth involvement or perspective can come across as token gestures, or they’re just plain fucking cheesy. Congrats to the Hutt City Council which has had thousands of responses to their first comprehensive youth survey. One hopes that the council will take the responses on board and work on some positive, youth-friendly policies and initiatives.

There’s only one way to change attitudes—those of councilors towards young people and vice versa—and that’s to get involved, take an interest in local issues that affect you and vote. Not voting means you basically waive your right to legitimately bitch and moan about stuff.

Next week: STV—is it as bad as an STI?

Also, wanna apply to edit this smutty rag next year? Check out the ad on page 33. Applications close 22 September. Want more info? Email editor@salient.org.nz, give us a call 04 463 6766 or pop into the office.

I believe that all students should engage in the process of improving the University they attend. The University, I think, is more than just a service provider. Taking ownership of your University is part of making a commitment to your own education and to the generations that will go after us. I am aware of course that some students don’t want to be involved. But there are others who are working to make sure that they and those that come after them have the best experience at University possible. If you are the latter, or care to shake off your apathy cloak for a day, I have two opportunities for you this week.

STUDENT FORUM MONDAY: 2011 FEES and YOUR UNIVERSITY

The Vice-Chancellor, the Chancellor and I will be hosting a student forum on Monday at 2pm in the Memorial Theatre. We will be there to discuss and answer questions on 2011 Student Fees and your University in general.

At VUWSA’s request the Forum has been opened up to issues other than just the fees you pay. It will be a very good opportunity to hear the leaders of the University front up about these issues and ask any questions you might have. I would encourage everyone who is interested in the quality of their education and how much they have to pay for it, to come.

NEW POWER PHRASE: THE STUDENT EXPERIENCE

Universities have a new power phrase they like to throw around – “the Student Experience”. On 27th of September I will be facilitating a workshop of University Council on this “Student Experience”.

My objective will be to try to give the Council a snapshot into the diversity of experiences that students have at Victoria and what defines these experiences –good and bad, remarkable and unimaginably awful.

Why? Council govern the University, and the decisions they make shape the University and our experiences of it. However, some never come in regular contact with the students of the University they govern.

As a Council, our objective is that all students have an outstanding “student experience” and that we all feel connected to and proud of our University.

No doubt, some students have some experiences that paint a rather negative picture of their time at Vic, either because of a lack of support, or institutional bureaucratic nightmares [StudyLink]. Conversely, some find their time at Victoria enriching and transformative. Sometimes because of what happens in their academic study, and sometimes because of what they do outside of the formal learning environment.

I would be interested in hearing what you think defines your experience, and how you think the University could improve it. Please get in touch (president@vuwsa.org.nz) if you have something to share.

LAST 7 WEEKS: CAMPUS EVENTS

The last seven weeks before exams are upon us. VUWSA wants all these weeks to be good weeks and we hope you will have fun and be supported to achieve exceptionally well. We have organised events every week. Our goal is to be visible and active on campus, so hopefully you will see us around.

Cheers,
Max Hardy
max.hardy@vuwsa.org.nz

Kia Ora,

Campus Safety Audit

I hope you enjoyed your holiday, and are ready for the last six weeks of the year. While you were off doing that, I was meeting with the University and Baz the community constable to organize a Campus Safety Audit. I don’t know if you realized this, but Vic is up a hill. A big hill. And late at night it can be scary having to walk down the big hill. We’ve been lucky in that there haven’t been any attacks on campus in 2010, and we’d like to keep it that way. There are already Campus Angels on Kelburn, Te Aro and Pipitea from 7 – 10pm to walk you home/to a bus stop/a well lit area when you’ve been studying late at night but what about outside their hours?

Over the next six weeks, VUWSA will be carrying out a survey and identify risks on campus to see if there is anything we can do to make you feel safer. After all, you’re spending at least three years here and that is a lot of late night library sessions – especially with exams fast approaching. The coolest thing is that the University has agreed to work with VUWSA and do anything they can to help make your campus safer.

We’re not trying to scare you, and by all means don’t think that campus isn’t safe – there is security 24/7 and closed circuit cameras around to make after hours less threatening. We just think there can be more done to make your university a safe space.

VUWSA General Elections

I know, I know, we’ve just had a round of elections and we’re already amping up for some more. But these are the exciting ones. You could replace me! The constitution requires you to be a self-identifying woman, but if you are and you’re interested then you can contact me at wro@vuwsa.org.nz to find out just what it means to be Women’s Rights Officer. It’s lots of fun, and you get to organize events like picnics, fashion shows and gigs.

VUWSA Women’s Group

If you’re interested in joining the group, email vuwsa.womens.group@gmail.com to be put on the mailing list and kept in the loop about the weekly meetings. Also you can follow us on Twitter (@vuwsawomens) and check out our tumblr to stay updated on important feminist issues.

Have a great rest of the year!

Caitlin

VUWSA Te Aro Clinics

VUWSA has not visited the Te Aro campus as often as we would have liked. The tyranny of distance/the mountainous environment of Wellington has proved a constant frustration for many.

For the remainder of the year VUWSA will be visiting Te Aro each week to make the following (and more) services accessible from the Atrium every Wednesday 12-3PM. We’ll be launching it with a free BBQ, noodles, and music this Wednesday.

You’ll be able to get your free bus tickets if you have classes at Kelburn on the same day, food banks, information and appointments with our Student Advocate, free tax return advice, information about Campus Angels, clubs, representative groups and be able to have a chat with one of your student representatives about ideas, issues or questions you have about your campus, course or the University.

VUWSA is fortunate to have such a proactive and dedicated representative group at Te Aro. STUDiO is the group of people who act as representatives for all the students based in and around the Vivian Street. They help us train and support dozens of Class Reps and Faculty Delegates and ensure the views, concerns and issues relating to Architecture and Design students’ are communicated and acted on. They also keep things interesting outside classes, arranging regular events and parties, guest lectures, forums, barbeques and design competitions.

We hope these weekly clinics are the beginning of a stronger VUWSA presence and service at Te Aro and go a little way in making up for of lack of visits, hellos and hugs.

VUWSA Flatting Mag

Flatting can be an awesome and life changing experience when it all goes to plan. But when things go belly-up when you least expect them to, friendships can be ruined, awkward flat romances can blossom and it all just becomes a freaking nightmare, especially if you are not prepared. It can leave you stressing, getting sick, out-of pocket, homeless, or even friendless.

That is why here at VUWSA we are currently putting together a guide about everything you need to know about flatting in Wellington. From knowing the law and your rights, to warming your flat up, to knowing the ins and outs of Wellington’s suburbs, everything will be in it.

We need your help though. We want you to email wvp@vuwsa.org.nz with all your tips, tricks and stories about flatting. We’ll collect them all up and include them in the magazine.

Student Forum

Do try and make it along to the Student Forum with the Vice Chancellor and Chancellor at 2pm Monday in the Memorial Theatre. Read Max’s column for more information.

Seamus Brady
wvp@vuwsa.org.nz

All Whites players were predicted to make an impact in the overseas transfer market following New Zealand’s unprecedented success at the recent World Cup. The team’s achievements have since lead to a range of outcomes for the players concerned.

While there have not been wholesale, or particularly exceptional transfers, the most outstanding result has to be 22-year-old defender Winston Reid’s signing at EPL club West Ham. Reid was unknown in New Zealand before the World Cup, but that has all changed. His late equaliser against Slovakia in the All Whites’ opening match grabbed headlines, and made him an instant household name.

Since the World Cup, Reid has been linked to a number of top European clubs, including All White captain Ryan Nelsen’s Blackburn Rovers. However, the Hammers secured the talented youngster for three years, with a reported £4 million transfer from Danish side FC Midtjylland.

While Reid’s induction to the Premier League has been well publicised, another All White—18-year-old striker Chris Wood—is also currently plying his trade in England’s top flight. Wood’s West Bromwich Albion was promoted for this season, making him the youngest Kiwi in the competition.

The All Whites’ other World Cup goal scorer, Shane Smeltz, was another big transfer prospect. Smeltz’s prolific form in the A-League over the last few years—including successive golden boot performances—has been nothing short of phenomenal, and this made him hot property even before the successful World Cup campaign. Smeltz has since been signed in on a big money, two year deal to play in China for Super League club Shandong Luneng.

However, these players’ successes have not been without hiccups. Reid made a surprise start in West Ham’s first EPL match of the season, only to make a decidedly average performance in a losing side. He has since picked up a hip injury which has seen him miss the last couple of games, putting his (near) future aspirations in further doubt. Meanwhile, Smeltz reneged on his Chinese deal after spending just five days in the country, and returned to A-League club Gold Coast United. The striker has now signed with Turkish club Genclerbirligi, despite the risk of repercussions for breaking his Shandong contract.

Perhaps most disappointing for All White fans could be Chris Wood’s apparently uncertain future at West Brom. The club recently signed former Celtic striker Marc-Antoine Fortune, and is expected to put both Wood, and fellow striker Simon Cox, up for loan once the Championship window re-opens. However, Wood made an appearance off the bench against English and European giants Liverpool just over a week ago—surely a career highlight—and his young age makes him an almost certain star of the future.

Playing in strong leagues overseas can only strengthen the All White squad as it moves into a new era. Let’s hope Kiwi football can continue its stellar run—both home and abroad.
With a few minor tweaks, the Phoenix will certainly have the potential to grant the latter!

Such a system will have obvious implications for the policy initiative currently being implemented of managing enrolments. Tertiary education providers are going to want to accept only those students they are confident will complete. Leaving managed enrolments aside, however, there is another implication of this policy which requires some consideration.

The objectives behind this aspect of the Strategy include ensuring that “qualifications are high quality and relevant for [the requirements of the Government, students and their families]…better course and qualification completion and progression rates for students as a result of higher-quality teaching and learning”. Apart from there being no indication that performance-based funding of the teaching programme will actually involve the evaluation of the quality of teaching itself, a system of financial incentives and sanctions focused on completion and retention also risks creating a perverse incentive—encouraging providers to lower the standard of a given programme or course in order to ensure students pass, and they continue to receive funding and are not penalised for non-completion/non-retention.

The goal of raising the standard of tertiary education qualifications, and combatting the popular mindset of ‘Cs get degrees’ is a laudible one. But will the performance-based funding of teaching programmes implemented in this way achieve this goal, or might it do more harm than good? Are there other measures of performance and other elements of the teaching programme which would be more effective in assessing performance and ensure quality education?

The next Education Action Group meeting will be on Wednesday 8th September at 4:30pm in the VUWSA Meeting Room on the ground floor of the Student Union Building.

At the time of writing, an analysis by the Sydney Morning Herald illustrated that the 150-seat Australian House of Representatives will see 72 seats held by Labor, 72 held by the Coalition, one to the Greens, and four seats to independents. The seat of Brisbane remains “too close to call”, with the latest tally of the votes marginally favouring the Liberal (Coalition) candidate, Teresa Gambaro. However, at this point, there remain 12,000 votes to count, approximately half of which are absentee and provisional ballots, which many predict will tip Brisbane towards Labor.

This is important, as it would give Labor leader, and caretaker Prime Minister Julia Gillard a significant advantage in negotiating her way back into power. Sydney Morning Herald National Editor Mark Davis explains: “The majority is 76. If Brisbane falls Labor’s way, then Julia Gillard would have 73 seats plus the new Greens MP for Melbourne, Adam Bandt (who has already indicated he will work with Labor). From this platform of 74 seats, Labor would need just two of the four independents to form government. By contrast, the Coalition would be on 72 seats and could only form government if it secured the support of all four independents.”

Despite this, Labor’s prospects are somewhat offset by the fact that polls show the majority of the three rural independent’s constituents would prefer their elected representatives supported Tony Abbott’s Coalition. A Galaxy poll revealed that only 36 per cent of the 600 voters in these electorates felt as though the trio should back Labor.

On Wednesday 25 August the three independents met with both Gillard and Abbott, outlining seven demands to help them in making their decisions in who to support to form a minority government. One of the three, Rob Oakeshott outlined that the seven demands would help them to ensure a stable government, and added, “if we can’t get that, let’s go back to the ballot box”:

• Economic advice from the Treasury and Finance secretaries, most importantly analysing the effect that election promises from both sides would have on the nation’s budget.
• Briefing from the secretaries of key departments in Government.
• Briefing from both the caretaker and shadow ministers on their plans for these departments over the next three years.
• An outline of each side’s plans to make improvements to parliamentary procedures and private members business.
• A commitment to explore “consensus options”. This would mean that more than the simple majority of 76 would be required to govern.
• A commitment from whoever the three decide to form a government with, that a full three-year term would be completed.
• A timetable for reforms on political donations, electoral advertising and donations.

There are two fundamental concessions in these seven demands. The first is related to the three-year term. In Australia, terms are not fixed, and the prime minister’s ability to decide the timing of an election is a key power. Michelle Grattan, political editor for The Age, explains that this benefits the independents in two ways. First, “it maximises their period of influence”, and second “it ensures they are not quickly held to account by their own constituents”. This is important because “by the end of three years, they would hope to be able to point to bags of benefits for their own electorates as well as to more highfalutin’ achievements”.

Both Gillard and Abbott have agreed to this first concession, promising an election will not be held before August 2013. The second key concession hasn’t been quite so easily accepted. The analysis of the costing of each sides elections promises has seen Gillard agree, however Abbott has flatly refused to concede this claiming that this amounts the “trashing of the Westminster system”.

“Our system depends on public servants being able to give free, frank and fearless advice to government,” Abbott says, “and that means the advice has got to remain confidential.” Instead, Abbott has offered the three independents an audit of the Coalition’s costing prepared by a leading firm during the election campaign.

Abbott’s failure to comply with this request has somewhat alienated him from two of three independents. Bob Katter has warned that this “makes it much more difficult for us to give [Abbott] the gong to become prime minister”. Tony Windsor has also said that “it’s not a good start at all, because when we go into this issue of stability… what we are trying to establish here is a degree of trust”.

All of this points to negotiations that are likely to be lengthy, as independents weigh up these concessions against the wishes of their constituents. Moreover, discussions will be drawn out further by the fact that these first seven demands don’t include any regional concessions, which the rural independents are sure to push for. Australia could be waiting indefinitely for a government to be formed.

1. Best thing you did over the break?
2. What is the one piece of clothing you’d save from your burning house?
3. What do you rate as your worst fashion disaster?
4. If you were forced to wear Crocs or jeggings, which would it be?
5. What is your prediction for the next fashion trend?

Anthony, 21
Business

1. Had a mean weekend over at Mt Maunganui, got incredibly wasted with good friends.
2. Olive SGC Jeans! So good!
3. I’d have to say wide leg cargo pants, haha or the terrible Hawaiian shirt phase!
4. Jeggings, worn like thermals, heh!
5. It seems as though the 90s are back!

Zoe, 19
Industrial Design

1. Buy U2 tickets.
2. Uh, hmm, none, naked is better.
3. Not sure, I owned at the side ponytail in my day.
4. Sigh, really? Uh, jeggings—blasphemy.
5. Anything goes right? Spoons.

Courtney, 20
Marketing and International Business.

1. Head over the hill to Martinborough for a few days lazing in the sun with my friends.
2. My Daniel Hechter wool coat, which I wear over anything and everything… I don’t know how I survived Wellington weather before I bought it!
3. Hopping on the platform sneakers bandwagon during The Spice Girls craze (mine were orange with glitter and metallic panels). Thank God they caused me to break my ankle and I was forced to stop wearing them.
4. Probably jeggings (reluctantly), hidden under a very, very long t-shirt. Crocs just look like cartoon shoes to me.
5. I’m hoping it will be old school tribal patterns, like Aztec or Navajo prints.

Eve, 21
Landscape Architcture

1. Paid off my credit card… Then went to town.
2. The dress I wore to my 21st.
3. Purple cardigan in form one, I liked to accompany it with matching purple lipstick, blah!
4. Did you mean leggings? Definitely leggings, unless jeggings is a new abbreviation of jeans and leggings that I haven’t heard yet in which case probably Crocs, bad as each other really though.
5. Cat suits!

Nicole, My driver’s licence says 20
Sometimes I study law

1. Went to Fiji: got a tan, tried windsurfing and spent most of my time reading on the beach.
2. In Wellington? Definitely my ZARA blazer. It’s warm.
3. A dysfunctional lace top that I bought back when I thought I could pass as a gothette, haha!
4. Crocs—nothing is worse than cameltoe. Not even real toes.
5. I don’t know, fur trims? On everything!

Jonathon, 21
Bachelor of Design Innovation

1. Sleep.
2. Tobe 1.6’s.
3. Ugg Boots + Nissan Skylines.
4. Crocs, they are cool in Japan.
5. Hot pink Hoverboards. Ooo yeah!

Snap pants 8/10

They make you look like Sporty Spice (win) and you don’t need to take off your shoes to get them off (convenient—if you’re playing sport). They’re versatile: wear them down, roll them up, half unbutton them, leave them done up. I used to cringe when I saw girls walking around with them undone, like, right to the top, so the pants flapped around in the breeze. Wear them like this and you lose cool points.

Spice Girl shoes 5/10

I imagine countless numbers of girls rolled their ankles while wearing their sweet, sweet Spice Girls-esque platform sneakers. It was for this very reason that I was never allowed platform sneakers of my own, and resorted to borrowing my friend’s spare pair. Though the shoes increased your cool points at school, their wearing has probably led to ongoing foot problems for a generation of Spice Girls fans.

Flares 2/10

So annoying to bike in, they drag along the ground, they’re really heavy (due to excess fabric), they get wet… Can skinny jeans, like, never go out of fashion?

Patterned bike shorts 0/10

Apparently bike shorts are back in fashion. Ew. Seriously? If you look good in bike shorts, you must be a stick. They expose your wobbly bits for all the world to see. They’re not particularly flattering. If you’re going to wear them, please make sure you wear something that covers your bum. I don’t want to see that.

Turtleneck skivvies 7/10

They keep your neck warm and they come in every colour imaginable. The perfect accessory to any outfit. And one Salient arts editor really likes how Ryan Phillippe wears them in Cruel Intentions.

Polar fleeces 10/10

They’re so warm. They’re so snug. They come in all shapes and sizes. I want one with dinosaurs on it. And a pocket on the front. Please?

“Slut wings” 0/10

I’d never heard the term “slut wings” until just the other day. Apparently it’s a South Island thing. “Slut wings” refer to the two skinny dangly bits of hair that used to frame girls’ faces while their hair was either tied up in a ponytail or in a messy bun. They look even worse when they are slathered with too much gel. Rats’ tails were the male equivalent.

Cargos 9/10

Back when cargos were cool, you didn’t need to take a bag anywhere—you could put everything in your pockets. So convenient. Your lunch, a CD, your Pokemon cards, your Hubba Bubba, you name it, you could fit it in the pockets of your cargo pants. So. Awesome.

Salient fashion tip!
Don’t throw anything out of your wardrobe… ever. It might come back in fashion again.

Snacks can be tricky. We all know we shouldn’t be stocking up on chippies and chocolate cookies, yet when we’re hungry and lunch is several hours away, few things seem more appealing than a Triple Chocolate Cookie Time. This week I’ve listed a whole lot of ideas to keep your lunchbox full and healthy:

• Fruit or vegetables: Fresh, sliced, dried, anything goes. Even frozen—try freezing grapes or a banana for something different.
• If you’re not a fan of “greens”, add something to make them more appetising, such as cheese, or make something like ants on a log (celery with peanut butter and raisins, it’s an American thing). One of my lecturers loves apples with peanut butter.
• Fruit kebabs are more interesting than “plain” fruit.
• If a salad isn’t filling enough for a “proper” meal, have one for a snack.
• Jelly! Your inner-child will rejoice. Add chopped fruit to jelly and leave to cool overnight.
• Add dips like hummus, cream cheese or salsa to veggies like celery or carrots.
• Add dip to crackers. There are endless options for crackers (I love tuna, avocado and pepper). Mix up different crackers, cheeses and relishes. For something different, try rice crackers or cruskits.
• Rice wafers are another option. Plain rice wafers are really nice with honey.
• Pretzels and plain popcorn are both great too.
• Fruit yoghurt (stay away from the “artificial” flavours like chocolate and caramel). Kill two birds with one stone and add fruit to yoghurt like sliced banana, berries, or almonds. Yes, almonds. Sliced almonds with yoghurt is one delicious flavour marriage.
• Make your own muffins—healthy flavours like blueberry or bran instead of chocolate chip.
• Try something different with toast. Maybe sliced tomato sprinkled with salt or grated cheese, or banana with jam.
• Make pikelets the night before, and have plain or with jam the next day.
• A plain boiled egg is a good source of protein.
• A few pieces of sushi are nicely filling. If you make sushi for dinner make extra for the next day.
• Make a smoothie and carry it around in a thermos (they’re not just for coffee you know).
• Make your own muesli bars—they’re healthier and often tastier.
• If you need something sweet, go for dark chocolate, or chocolate-coated raisins or peanuts. If you need fizzy, opt for the diet or “zero” options.
• Leftovers often make good snacks—raid your fridge.

One of the main battles when it comes to food is keeping up variety, so don’t be afraid to try something new. Find out whether your friends or flatmates have any “unusual” food loves (ham and peanut butter? Cheese and fried onion? Honey and marmite sandwich?) and give it a try. You never know, you might find your new favourite food.

Before you reach for the anti-ageing cream or spend more money on more moisturisers to sit next to all of your other moisturisers, before you slather yourself in soap every day, before you see bags under your eyes and crows feet beside them, and cry because you’re 21—have a think about all of the trash you put onto your skin.

Most people who care about their skin have probably heard all this before, so I’ll do the usual stuff quickly. Bad for your skin: caffeine, alcohol, late nights/no sleep, dehydration, stress, bad diet, lack of B vitamins, no sunscreen (even on a cloudy day), not taking off makeup at night. Basically anything remotely bad for your body will show up first on your skin—it’s the largest organ in the body and you can’t really expect any less. Good for your skin: lots of fluids, sunscreen, moisturiser, eight hours sleep, meditation/relaxation, good diet.

Firstly, moisturiser is great daily if you get one matched to your needs, and your skin! Some have nasty ingredients which, as they soak into your skin, may do more harm than good. Be logical—it needs to soak into your skin, not sit on top of it—using more than you need is a common skin sin. Perfumes, glitter, and other trash often have ingredients which dry out you skin—your skin isn’t only absorbing the moisturiser bits, it’s absorbing all of it. Using stuff recommended for pregnancy (or most LUSH cosmetics) is great because they’ve thought hard about every single ingredient.

Soap is not necessary every day! Suds and lather do not represent cleanliness—they are extra ingredients. Use what you need to get clean, and no more. If you can bear it, only use soap once every few days. There are some great products out there that are not technically soap, or have a lower soap content, for example body milk, which cleans you but doesn’t strip your skin as badly. This goes for facial cleansers too. Your body likes having a bit of dead skin and fluff on it as it protects the tender new skin, so avoid anything with much exfoliator in it, or don’t use an exfoliant cleanser every day. Most importantly, after cleansing, use toner and moisturiser. Toner will neutralise any leftover soap, so your skin’s PH is back to normal. If you don’t use toner, your body will freak out and produce oil to compensate. Moisturiser puts back into your skin what needed to be there in the first place, as well as compensating for the drying cleanser.

Whatever you do to your face, do to your neck. This includes washing, toning, moisturising, use facial products there, not body ones, and do it every time. This avoids creepy old person neck waddle. Pay attention to the back of your neck as much as the front here. We’ve all had to sit behind creepy oily pimply neck-backs before.

If you must pop your pimples, use a needle and gently push the grossness out. Popping them with fingers and nails does much more damage to the skin and you’ll get a huge amount of redness.

Under your eyes is a good representation of your immediate wellbeing, so to perk up your eyes immediately, shotgun a glass of water. Seriously. Also, that skin is among the most delicate in your body, so be careful what you stick on it, like cheap makeup, and you shouldn’t use exfoliant anywhere near your eyes!

It was something of an occasion last weekend when I bought a $20 ticket and headed out in the evening fog to attend a different type of gig from those of my not-so-fevered youth. Set at the Newtown Community Centre, the seats were filled with a variety of ages. I guessed at people’s backgrounds: grey-haired radicals, colourfully-clad anarchists and long-time ardent unionists. The draw card of the night was David Rovics, a US-based musician who writes political folk songs about subjects as diverse as the occupation of Palestine and the reasons why Somali pirates are awesome.

Rovic’s music was alternatively hilarious and heart-wrenching, and ended up giving me more chills than three years of living in a Dunedin flat put together. His songs brought about an almost uncontrollable urge to chain myself to something (erm, in a political way, of course). I wondered: what is it about a well-written song that can tear you up? It’s one thing to read, research and superficially understand an issue, and another to be suddenly overwhelmed with sadness by means of a simple melodic and lyrical progression.
In the realm of climate change psychology, studies continually find that providing information alone results in no real behaviour change. We don’t respond well to plain facts alone, but what about emotions?

Call me an idealist, but I figure that if we could better understand the struggles of others we’d dig so deep in our pockets for Pakistan that we’d hit a coal seam. If we could begin to feel the effects of military occupations far across the globe we’d be protesting outside embassies daily, weekly, forever. The problem is that it’s incredibly difficult to imagine another human’s pain, particularly when they’re unknown and distant. Let’s not even try to talk about other forms of life: how do you empathise with a carnivourous snail? What about an ecosystem?

Although communicating intangible feelings using analytical descriptions can obviously be pretty problematic, for most people emotions can be translated through music, visual art, and fiction. That’s why protest songs are so important: because they can easily make emotional connections that encourage peeps to take action. Unsurprisingly, in many different cultures you can find a massive back-catalogue of songs calling for social change. Protest music gives commonality to artists diverse as Bikini Kill, Leadbelly and Woody Guthrie.

Try as I might, I can’t seem to find any climate change-related protest music. I fear this is a niche that must be filled. If you’d like to join my hip-hop collective, please contact me ASAP.

Relax. I’ll just cut a bit here and … Oh shit.

Birthdays seem to go hand in hand with relatives trotting out photographs of your younger self you wish did not exist. Forced to relive those mortifying moments when your parents were still the dictators of your wardrobe, you notice an unsightly trend as each image flips before you.

Who the fuck has been cutting your hair?

I have never got on with my hair and its constant mockery of my life began as a baby, when I would lie on my back and roll around the floor in an attempt to be athletic. This act was to have a severe impact on my dignity because, on the joyous day of Baby’s First Hair Cut, the hairdresser was met with an unsightly bald patch on the back of my bulbous noggin. Funnily enough, I have only ever seen this phenomena one other time—a local stray cat rubbing his ass on concrete. Said cat was bald in three days.

It seems hair only exists to scorn us. At age six, I retaliated to its misgivings by strategically placing a wad of gum in the curls behind my left ear as we drove around one Saturday afternoon. Sticking it to the man, as it would seem. My feeling of sheer triumph was short-lived, replaced with trepidation once it became clear that no, the gum was not going to cooperate. And, as my mum went to the kitchen drawer to retrieve a pair of scissors, it dawned on me that my hair had won. Again.

After that unfortunate incident, I spent three months growing out a kinky scrap of hair that stuck out in all directions. On purpose, I’m sure. So at age 12, I took drastic measures and opted for the pixie cut. After a month, once the novelty of mohawks and liberty spikes wore off, I was left with a curly mop of hair that refused to cooperate. Too lazy to blow dry or brush it, I spent my early adolescence looking like a hobbit. Clearly I had forgotten how much this irritated me because I cut it all off again at the arrogant age of 17. As I restyled it back into a mohawk, a skill that comes in handy, I jokingly thought I would make an excellent Harry Potter.

To date, I have dressed as Harry Potter three times.

It was clear something needed to be done about Hair before it turned me into a walking shrine to J.K Rowling. I made a vow to grow it out, wash it, tend to it, and whisper sweet nothings between brushings in the hopes it would stop being such a raging bitch and sit right for once. It’s a battle, I’ll admit, growing out hair. Hair’s latest trick is getting caught in car doors but looking back on the recent photo albums, I’m glad A-Typical Nineties Hair has been laid to rest.

But whatever you do, don’t mention The Bob. I’m yet to forgive my four-year-old self for wanting that one.

Candy Badger is Salient’s resident advice guru. If you need any help with relationships, flatting, university or anything else, drop her a line at candy.b.badger@gmail.com.

Hey Candy,
I am an international student from America (fuck yeah!) and I have been trying to figure out exactly what I should scream whilst bungee jumping (to commemorate me wetting myself). This will be filmed and serve as an endless example of my cowardice. Whenever I really think about it, all I come up with is, “My Dick!”

Help would be appreciated,
Freefall Freddie.

Dear Freddie,

Gosh, I hope you didn’t already bungee during the university break. I told the editor we should rush out an issue to get your advice to you, but she was toooo busy sunning herself on her tropical holiday (in Feilding).

You know what’s even better than pissing your pants? Pissing on other people. Therefore I double dare you not to wear pants when you bungee.

Given that you are American, it’s a great opportunity to yell something about how much you love your country! I’m thinking along the lines of ‘take that, Taliban scum!’.

Then instead of Freefall Freddie, you’ll be the Patriotic Pisser.
Love,
Candy

Hey Candy,

yours
Not a very funky monkey..

Dear you,

I know how you feel. I just farted and it smells really bad. Funky, you might say.

Short of a mass murder, you could go find some new friends. There’s heaps of people out there looking for a new friend. You could add me on Facebook, then go through my friends list and pick yourself a few keepers (I don’t know who any of them are so you can have whoever you want!).

I’m a big believer in karma, so if you behave yourself and eat all your vegetables, do your homework and go to sleep early, you’ll win the Lotto and then everyone will want to be your friend!

And if that fails, you could get revenge on all those dicks by putting buckets on top of doors, concrete in their flippers, a grizzly bear in their wardrobe etc.

SMOOOOOCH!
Candy

Her

It was a last minute rush to get ready for my blind date, so I went for the casual wear-what-you-did-to-uni and heels look. My sister gave me a ride to the bar and I had a bit of a freak out on the way there thinking: ‘Oh shit, this could potentially be the most awkward night of my life! What if he’s really weird…?!’ We figured there was about a one per cent chance of finding the next love of my life, a 15 per cent chance of him being a total creep, which left an 84 per cent chance of having a good time with a really massive bar tab. Not bad odds really.

He was dead on time. I appeared about two minutes later, and in this time he had already deterred a potential man friend by explaining he was on a date, and made friends with the bartender instead. I decided he was in the 84 per cent bracket and we introduced ourselves and made slightly awkward ice-breaking conversation while downing cocktails.
It turned out he had been called upon for the blind date as he was the only male in the building—bribed with the prospect of free food and drinks. Not gonna deny it, I was blatantly there on the off-chance of finding a guy who had the potential to really rock my socks…But he was a really nice guy and we got on smashingly.

It gets a bit blurry after the cocktails, but we shared tales of life, love and the zoo. It would seem I narrowly avoided assault after I spilt my drink on a woman (the bottom of the glass was wet and it may have dribbled on her a tiny bit). I apologised really nicely and she flirted with me, before becoming enraged at the bar girl for serving her $3 bubbles “in a warm glass!?”

High fives were exchanged when we discovered we had finished the tab, and we bought celebratory tequila shots before affably making our way to another bar to meet my friends. We discovered we were both from the same town, and he heroically stepped in to save me as I was being whooped at pool by a friendly bogan. He got my number as he left, and I guiltily stayed out for a bit longer. I had a blast and hopefully he did too—and I just got my essay in on time. Success! Cheers Salient and the Garden Club!

Him

8pm: I walk into the Terrace Bar and a old man hits on me and asks if I want a drink. I tell him I’m waiting for my date and he walks away—awkward!

8.01pm: The bartender informs me that she just walked in.

8.02pm: We introduce ourselves and order some drinks.

8.05pm: Our bartender disappeared, and we got a new bartender and re-ordered.

8.10pm: Oh god I’ve forgotten her name (what a dick) and politely ask her; she remembers my name because it rhymes with hers.
 
At some point we ordered pizza—I remember this part but the bartender sure didn’t—he  made awesome drinks though, so I forgave him .

She talked about her jobs and the boys that hit on her. She told me her hang outs (Library, Boogie, Big Kumara—I pulled her up on this one), but she was sweet and funny so I let it go. We had more drinks and then she spilt drinks on the lady next to her. The lady was an interesting character, and complained  that her $3 dollar bubbles came in a warm glass and she wanted another, but she left after an argument with a bartender.
 
She talked about her childhood and apparently we come from the same town—her mum may have been my teacher. She said she was awesome at pool and even beat the boys (cute and skillful?). She talked about uni and her smarts, her riches and her travels (yes, I will be your toy boy). At one point she asks me to stand guard outside her toilet door. I obliged.
 
At one point she noted she had a essay due tomorrow—obviously my charm swayed her to stay. We continued talking and drinking, and next thing you know, she pointed out the beetles moving on the bar table (they were disco lights)—I was buzzing out!  The pizza came (finally) and we finished the bar tab! We both agreed one more for the road and hit the tequila! She invited me to  Bristol with her friends where we duly drank more (gin, lol) and played pool…The lies come out—she epic failed at pool.
 
Never a dull moment, amazing chick. Thanks Salient!

As the ancient saying goes, “when I think of Merlot, a few words come to mind.” This variety is one of the world’s most popular, and it is one of the principle blends in Bordeaux wine where it is the most abundant grape. In New Zealand, second to Pinot Noir, it is the most planted red wine grape with approximately 1371 hectares of vine in the ground.

It is rumoured that the name Merlot is derived from the Old French word for ‘young blackbird’, which probably alludes to the colour of the grape. Merlot is relatively easy on the ripening scale and its large berries and thin skins mean that the wine is generally less tannic, and can be tucked into sooner.

Merlot’s ‘easy drinking’ nature, market saturation, and presence in terrible movies such as Sideways has seen the variety cop a fair amount of flack from many of the worlds ‘wine buffs’. Don’t let this become a barrier on your highway though, as there are, without a doubt, many fine examples out there.

Being one of the softer red wine varieties, Merlot is versatile when it comes to food matching. Recently I had a glass while nibbling on a Moro bar. Deemed “loose as” by many, I actually found the combination to be both lavishly cute, and rewarding. This aside, Merlot tends to work the best with red meat and pork dishes.

Wine of the Week:

This week’s wine of the week is solid value for money and is the Thornbury Hawkes Bay Merlot 2007 ($13-15). The great thing about this wine is that, given its price, it isn’t just a tinny medicinal fruit bomb. Once in the glass, the wine gives off fantastic black fruit aromas as well as complex cedary oak and chocolate. Having had a couple of years in the bottle now, on the palate it is silky smooth and across the board it really does reflect the high quality and concentrated 2007 Hawkes Bay vintage.

Wellington was filled to bursting with brewers, beer geeks and Discovery Channel cameras when New Zealand’s biggest week of beer appreciation hit our windy shores last week.

Our BrewNZ weekend began with the shocking announcement that Dominion Breweries was crowned New Zealand’s champion brewery of 2010. While this announcement was met with some shock, and even a few walk-outs at the awards, it goes to show that DB do what they aim to do—make clean, easy lagers—well.

The big guys had their night, but during the weekend it was the innovative, craft breweries which stood centre stage. Over 100 beers from Invercargill to Delaware were made available to the public during the peak of festivities on the weekend—Beervana.

But which beers are worth revisiting after the hangover?

Dave’s Faves:

Each year the BrewNZ awards includes a festive category, to challenge breweries to make beers to a certain theme. This year’s festive brew was ‘Go Native’. Most breweries took this to mean ‘put a native tree or vege in a beer’. Three Boys brewery of Christchurch took it to mean ‘dice up some pineapple lumps, and throw them in a porter’. Thankfully Three Boys Pineapple Lump didn’t reek of the native treat—it was a full bodied, intensely roasty porter with just a hint of lumpy goodness.

8 Wired The Big Hangi showed just as much innovation. They took the recipe of their smoked porter, and replaced the beechwood smoked malt with manuka smoked kumara. The huge amount of smoked starch made drinking it like eating a plate of delicious roast kumara. A pity only 50L was made; can someone donate 8 Wired 500kg of kumara so they can make a full batch?

Denise’s Standouts:

This year, Beervana was the launch pad for Tuatara’s 10th anniversary ale, simply titled X. Brewed in the style of a Belgian Tripel, Tuatara X is like the brewery’s Ardennes on steroids. When the brewery initially brewed Ardennes, they released it at about 8-9 per cent ABV. While it’s at 6.5 per cent today, for their 10th birthday, Tuatara’s gone back to its roots. This strong, Belgian beer has an amplified caramel and coriander profile, with the more subtle hints of vanilla and orange peel—and the alcohol’s hidden incredibly well.
Yet in complete contrast to almost every other beer released at or around Beervana, Yeastie Boys Punkadiddle 3.7 per cent is a subtle, red English ale which is all about the malt. Dubbed “hop-hater” by the Yeastie crew, the beer’s the complete opposite of the hoppy, strong craft ales that have dominated the scene this year. With a creamy texture, a biscuity flavour and hints of roast malt and light fruit, Punkadiddle is one of Beervana’s best.

When the Beervana leftovers trickle out of the town hall, they should wind up at Hashigo Zake and Malthouse. Keep an eye out.

If you have any questions or comments about this week’s beers, you can email us at davethebeerguy@gmail.com or denisethebeergirl@gmail.com

Email suggestions for an upcoming Animal of the Week to elle@salient.org.nz. Only five to go!

ANIMAL FACT!
Animals wish they were your best friend—if only you noticed their existence.

It was a cold winter. Icy cold. Freeze your face off cold. The kind of cold that you wouldn’t want moving into the house two doors down from yours. The kind of cold you wouldn’t grant permission to marry your daughter, not that that would change anything after all—this cold doesn’t ask for hands in marriage. It takes them. That’s how cold it was. Steam did not so much cloud out of people’s mouths as escape like a crazed blue collar criminal digging his way out of minimum security prison with a spoon. I did not so much walk as glide down the ice slick side walk. Exploding fire hydrants had sprinkled the roads with deadly water. Ever seen water strangle a man to death in the hot midsummer while out playing lacrosse? Not a pretty sight. Not one I would recommend. I wouldn’t pay to see it again. Deadly stuff, water. Deadly like death by poison or falling masonry. No one knew why the fire hydrants had exploded. It was a mystery, a haunting riddle song lilting through the decrepit trees of urbania, a question silently yelled by every omnipresent aggrieved fireman. The police said they were investigating. But they say a lot of things. Lots of people say a lot things. Sometimes I wish I was back on that mime colony. Nice places, mime colonies—somewhat sparse though, a feng shui nightmare. How do you know where the energy flows when all the walls of your house are metaphoric? Questions beget questions it seems. I was on my way to the store to buy some food. I was hungry, see. Hungry not like the country Hungary, more like the country where no one ever has any food because business has gotten slow, gambling addiction means that I’ve had to sell all my other clothes to a homeless man for hug that I plan to trade for a miracle and win the lottery. That country was my soul, see. That’s right. Things had gotten tight. Money was low like back yard paddling pool with a giant leak caused by twelve-year-old chain smokers filling it with champagne that they somehow got their little mitts on. Finances were short like a dwarf that lives in a vice inside a shrinking machine on Jupiter.

I still wasn’t sure how I’d pay for the food at the store. I wasn’t beneath theft, I would do it if I could, especially since the last time I went to this store the keeper made a snide remark about my paying for a loaf of bread with pennies I stole with magnets from charity collectors. He cut me deep with his words, cut me deep like seventeen monkeys knife fighting with machetes in your living room with greased floor.

It’s not too cold. Shorts are everywhere in this hemisphere and for good reason. They are an instant mood lifter. They are relaxed, but can also take your wardrobe from beach to street. From Hermes to Farmers, leather to lace, there is no shortage. If your legs aren’t prepared for the still-cold wind, you girls can make the most of your tights and guys, this is just a time to show you’re tuff.

Sport luxe is still hanging around this season. Brands like Kris van Assche and Alexander Wang may have started the sporty trend this time round with comfy sweaters, baggy pants and tops. You may not want to get sweaty in these, but sports clothes are now meant to be worn out and about. Jersey shorts such as Hopetown’s are sweet in grey marle and Victoria’s Secret offers many comfy pants. Country Road is also big on this trend. Bike shorts, like those in Glassons, are a quick way to update a summer dress and a remedy for shrinking hemlines.

Another tomboy trend for the girls—stealing from you boyfriend—may not always go down well, but is effortless chic. Blazers are less structured, such as in Balmain’s collection, and rolled up sleeves make this look even more chill. Loose t-shirts and shirts are never hard to find and Friend of Mine’s are a soft rendition of these. Guys aren’t at an entire loss as shirts and long slouchy blazers are in for them too, started in Largerfield menswear.

Wide jeans continue the boyfriend look for women, an example is those by True Religion. Jeans have been accepted into all sorts of wardrobes and occasions and now Levis have released a new fitting system with variations of cuts catering for differences in figures. Finding new jeans is now a lot less of a quest.

The underwear as outerwear trend for girls is not the nightmare it sounds. Bustiers are not too revealing if worn with class. Betino Liano and Stitch Ministry’s are a sweet take and One Teaspoon and Ksubi’s are a little edgier. See-through dresses such as Lover’s are an innocent reveal with lace cover up and Annah Stretton’s can be worn with petticoats. Soft palettes or black make the use of petticoats and bra straps more tame than titillating.

However, the recent Human Rights Commission (HRC) report Human Rights and Women, released in March, indicated that in the business sector, only a very small number of governance and leadership positions are held by women. This is reflected in the fact that only a quarter of people with incomes over $75,000 are women, and the median annual income of women is over a third lower than men’s.

When it comes to law, the 2008 HRC census on women’s participation showed that 41.6 per cent of practitioners are women, while 19.34 per cent are partners of law firms, and women are much more likely to have partnerships in smaller firms. In terms of the judiciary, 26.5 per cent of all judges are female—and the report noted that the judiciary was an area in which “progress has all but stalled in terms of women’s appointments”. The explanations behind these numbers are many and complex, and there is not the space here to canvas them all. But there are also qualitative, not just quantitative questions to be asked in this context.

Before lamenting the lack of female partners it is important to understand why it is important, in a substantive sense beyond the obvious arguments, for numerical equality, to have more female partners. Are there substantive differences between women and men in these positions? Is there such a thing as a woman-lawyer, or just women who are lawyers? Woman-partners, or just partners who happen to be women?

One of the issues these questions implicate is measures of success. Often measures of success and pathways to success are unaccommodating of female lawyers who may take maternity leave, or work part-time in order to take care of children, or who follow a displayed preference for areas of law such as family law, which are not a part of traditional conceptions of the highflying corporate lawyer.

The presence of women in decision-making positions and positions of authority within the legal profession provides an opportunity to influence the culture of the workplaces. In terms of judicial appointments, the continued lack of demographic representativeness of our judiciary is particularly concerning. As stated by the Ministry of Justice, judges should be “aware of, and sensitive to, the diversity of modern New Zealand society. It is very important that the judiciary comprise those with experience of the community of which the court is part and who clearly demonstrate their social awareness.” The presence of women on the bench is important in terms of ensuring the culture of the court room is truly reflective of our diverse community.

The Law Students Society and Chapman Tripp are hosting a panel discussion on this topic on Thursday, 16th September at 5:30pm at the Chapman Tripp offices, 10 Custom House Quay, Wellington CBD.

But given that this is a column about social graces and the like, I suppose I could impart some holiday wisdom on you. If you ask nicely. And make me cupcakes. With icing. Icing’s the best part.

How to make it through an airport without strangling somebody

As we all know, an important part of the holiday-ing experience is the travelling to and fro, and the people you run into along the way often play an important role in determining whether you visit Sucksville or Awesometown. When going through airports in particular, I often find it’s the former. There’s a full-on rugby team of people to get through just to make it to the plane, and they generally make life as difficult as possible.

To set the scene: There I was, at Wellington Airport. Three hours early, of course, because the powers that be seem to think that people need enough time to do a slow-motion robot walk through customs. (Either that or it’s just a cruel, cruel joke, but I like to think they’re just waiting for someone to break out the robot moves.) Sadly this means an extended wait in the departure “lounge”.

After being forced to display my “liquids” in a clear plastic bag for all the world to see (which broke, I might add), I was selected for your friendly neighbourhood bomb check. I must have that look about me—you know, the suspicious “I’ve got a bomb hidden in my jacket, hohoho” look. They cheerily informed me that if I, or my clothing, had touched explosives, they would know. I wondered how I would explain that my blazer has lately been sneaking out at night to let off fireworks, but thought it was better left unsaid.

You make it past all that, slightly out of breath, but alas, the rugby game continues. You have to kind of run, zigzagging through the duty-free area, all the while shouting, “just browsing” to your left and right, while shop assistants try to tackle you from all sides. Finally, dripping with sweat, blood and invisible bomb residue, you make it to the departure gate, only to find about a hundred rows of crying babies, and a sinister cafeteria selling chocolate milks for $4. (I briefly entertained the hope that it was magical chocolate milk, but it wasn’t.)

There’s a mad scrum when they announce you may now commence boarding—I suppose everyone’s hoping for an escape. Oh hoho, how wrong you are, because they then lock you in a giant tube. For hours. While they feed you suspiciously squishy pies.

Now I’m not saying stay at home. But don’t delude yourself. Airports are not fun. The only way to get through them without strangling somebody—or yourself—is to crank up the iPod. That way, when you’re nodding away and twitching spasmodically, you’ll at least encourage people to think you’re a bit odd, and to stay away from you.

There will be over 150 different beers on offer from at least 45 breweries, and not just limited to New Zealand’s own.

But with each session lasting only 4 hours, it’s probably best to approach Beervana with a strategy in mind.

Dave’s strategy: Beervana is the best opportunity of the year to try many brews which are otherwise unavailable in Wellington. As soon as I enter the venue, I scout out every stand and check out which beers are on offer. From there, I head to the more limited releases first—in case they run out. Following that, I like to visit the stands from micro breweries which are rarely seen in Wellington (Brew Moon, Arrow Brewing Co, Twisted Hop), and sample as many different styles as possible. To finish off the session, I seek out the bigger, hoppier brews. Imperial IPA’s with tongue-numbing bitterness are my favourite way to end an afternoon or evening of intense beer-ing.

Denise’s strategy: It’s always better to start with the lighter brews on offer—there’s no point in confusing your palate by downing some delicious, but heavy and sticky, imperial stouts and barley wines. Save those ones until last. To maximise your Beervana experience, order half tastings—it’ll mean you get to sample twice as many beers in the same time.

Water is your friend at this event. Kindly ask the stallholders to rinse your glass with water before each new beer, or fill your sample glass from a water stand and down it to refresh your palate (and help stave off a headache the next day).

Don’t be afraid to ask the brewers questions. They’re usually all too willing to brag about their beers, and you can never know too much about what you’re drinking.

Not to be missed:
- 8wired’s smoked kumara porter—only 50 litres made.
- Yeastie Boys’ stall—handpulled Punkadiddle, ‘nuff said.
- Emerson’s stall—last year’s champion brewery, and always has something special on offer.
- The education seminars—ranging from Beer and Cheese to Beer and Women.
- Hashigo Zake’s stall—a handsome column writer will be manning the stall during selected sessions.

The most important thing to remember is that Beervana runs on a cash-only basis, so hit up an ATM before you get in the door. No money, no beer!

Tickets are $30 from Ticketek including a glass and a free sample. Sessions run 12-4pm and 5-9pm this Friday and Saturday at the Wellington Town Hall.

See you there.

For a guide to Beervana that didn’t have to stick to a word limit check out this.

If you have any questions or comments about this week’s beers, you can email us at davethebeerguy@gmail.com or denisethebeergirl@gmail.com

I can’t believe it’s nearly the end of August. 2010 has flown by in a blink. I’m fairly sure it wasn’t all that long ago that it was February and my trusty designer sidekick Juliette and I were freaking out about how we had to make a 56-page magazine every week. We’re 19 issues in. Only six to go. Holy shit. Needless to say we’re kind of putting off thinking about post-Salient unemployment, but that’s a story for another day.

There are a few things that you can expect when you end up editing a student mag like this: sleep deprivation, bad skin, an unhealthy addiction to caffeine, a diet of takeaways and junk food, and spending the majority of your time in an office in front of a computer. Two things should be mentioned here: surprisingly I haven’t put on weight, and I haven’t taken up smoking. Dad will be pleased.

Despite the stress, the sleepless nights, the multiple cups of coffee a day and writing features/editorials/news stories at 2am on a Friday morning, this job is actually pretty darn fun. I get to hang out with my bff for, like, 80 hours a week. I can wear trackpants to work if I want. I get to make masks of Max Hardy. I get to laugh about buying Brad Pitt’s garlic naan on TradeMe. I get to legitimately be on my Gmail for hours on end talking to “important people” about “important matters”. If you were curious, this week’s topic of Gmail discussion has been my failure to win a free Bounty bar, despite the fact I’ve consumed at least six of them in the last two days. Thrilling stuff. Oh, to edit a student magazine. We really don’t get out much.

On a more serious note, we’ve got a more important job to do. We’re here to entertain. We’re here to inform. We’re here to keep an eye on VUWSA. We’re here to keep an eye on the university. We’re here to tell you
about what you should care about. We’re here to make your time at university a more pleasurable experience. Or something. We eat, breathe and dream Salient for you guys: the students who pick up the magazine week in, week out. Salient’s army of contributors have been doing this job for 72 years now. And for the majority of those 72 years, we’ve been doing it pretty darn well.

After the break we begin the search for an Editor for 2011. It’s the best job in the world and it’s also—at times—the worst. But that just comes with the territory. If you’re going to apply, be prepared to devote your heart and soul to this magazine for an entire year. I’m not kidding when I say I don’t get out much. But
if you think you’ve got what it takes, apply. It’s your chance to stamp your mark on a longstanding part of student life at Vic. Watch out for more details in Issue 19.

Last, but not least, special mention must go to Mikey Langdon, our Chief Sub-Editor and Online Editor. It was his last day at Salient last Thursday—he’s fleeing to Germany for a while to teach high school-age brats English. Mikey has been lurking around Salient for a couple of years now, checking our grammar and correcting our spelling. He’s spent hours and hours in the office and has gone above and beyond the call of duty in his work for Salient. I know I can speak for Jackson as well on this, Mikey has been an integral part in making Salient what it is over the past two years. He’s put up with some awful music choices (Eve, B*Witched, Ricky Martin, Ju’s awful singing—to name a few), constant mocking and late-night delirium. And for some reason he keeps coming back—probably because we pay him this year. Mikey, you’ve been awesome to work with and we’re going to miss you heaps. Keep mini fluoro cock bear safe on your travels. Our spelling and grammar is probably going to be heaps worse.
Sorry everyone.

The next few weeks are going to be an interesting time for the University and for students. The first half of the semester has started to wind down, essays are begging to be completed and mid-term tests are looming. In addition to this, the University is gearing up to make some significant decisions that will affect you and your studies.

One of the most important of these decisions is the setting of our fees and the decision about whether or not
fees will be raised for 2011. It’s important that students are listened to on this issue and I think it is important that the University fronts up to students. After all, we all want a quality education backed by sufficient resources, but we do not want to be treated like cash cows that don’t have a choice about whether to pay or not.

I have asked the Vice-Chancellor and the Chancellor to attend a student forum on Monday the 6th September so that students have a chance to communicate to senior management and governance what they think are the most important issues that the University should consider when setting your fees for the coming year (and they will can share their thinking). This will also be a chance for you to comment and question the University about the strategic direction it is currently taking. You will have the opportunity to ask the leaders of the University any questions that you might have. But please, no egg throwing.

When it comes to setting our fees it is important that the University fronts up to students about any fee increases. It’s also incredibly important that the university presents a solid, reasonable case for why fees need to be increased, if that is what they are recommending. VUWSA will be trying to ensure that the university is accountable to students and can justify any proposals that affect us.

We have held a “Fees Forums” in the past. This is because fees are important, student debt is increasingly
continually, and we generally do not want to leave University with a massive financial ball and chain. This year however I asked for the Forum to be about more than just fees because I felt that students should have the opportunity to engage with the University’s management and governance on the direction of the
University generally.

Whenever the University makes strategic decisions that affect students, usually students either aren’t aware
of what these strategic directions are, or don’t have a direct opportunity to respond to them (except through
their representatives from VUWSA). These decisions can include anything from deciding to increase the number of post-graduate research students (at the expense of undergraduate places), deciding to invest in a multimillion dollar Campus Hub project, or a decision to set up (or close down) a new School or degree programme.

VUWSA is committed to ensuring that students are informed about these key decisions and have a chance
to have a say where appropriate. However, sometimes it is best to here it from the leader of the University
themselves, and that is why VUWSA has organised this forum.

Thinking in the long run is important. The university’s strategic direction is going to determine what kind of university Victoria is going to be. These are fundamental questions that students should be actively engaged in. Do we want this University to be focussing heavily on science, technology and the physical arts? Or
should we take advantage of the unique position of this place within our capital city, and instead focus more on humanities, politics, governance and law?

At the end of the day, these are questions that students should be engaged with.

The Forum will be held on the 6th September (first day after the mid-trimester break), from 2pm – 3pm in the
Memorial Theatre, Student Union Building.

Three things happening this week:

1. We will be finalising the terms of reference for a comprehensive review of VUWSA’s representative structures and how to improve them dramatically.
2. We will be developing a survey of students, which will be used to ensure that VUWSA is responsive to students and what they want.
3. We will be developing our response to the University’s proposal to reduce the size of the third trimester (see the News section of Salient). We want to ensure that students are able to retain the flexibility that the third trimester offers in finishing their degrees and choosing interesting courses. Please get in contact if you are concerned about this.

Cheers,
Max
president@vuwsa.org.nz

Hello VUW Students and Staff, I’m Richard Carr, the recently elected Administration Vice-President. I realise that usually these columns say what the Exec member has been doing and what will happen in the near future, however I have been in office for 3 days so not much to report on. Instead i thought that I would let people know who I am and what I aim to do. Currently I’m a second year studying a BCA in Economics and a BSc in Operations Research.

When I was elected I was asked by Max Hardy what I would like to do in my position. I gave him some answers but I have been thinking on this over the last few days and I have come to a conclusion of 7 main goals which I will strive to achieve:

Internal EfficiencyKeeping accurate income statements and carefully monitoring the budget to ensure that money is being spent the way that we have promised the students.

Financial Advice
Becoming fully integrated with the accounts of your Students Association to be able to quickly assess and supply useful advice any on approaching decisions.

Reassess Current Spending
I will be reviewing expenditure so that I can ensure that the students are not paying for things that do not provide substantial benefits.

Cost Effective Services
Looking at the services that are being funded for by students and ensuring that they are providing maximum benefit for minimum cost.

Communication
By having an active website, obvious office hours, response to emails and being present at Student meetings so that I can clearly communicate what is happening within the organisation to the students.

Accountability and Management
Combining all the above ideas to create a VUWSA which you can be proud to say that you are a member of, having transparent practises and continue the strong management guiding VUWSA.

Non member revenue
Finding money to provide Students with benefits without having them cost anything.

With these clear goals I hope that I can achieve all that I have set out to do.

If you have any problems, any ideas of what you think should be done, or even just want to chat, feel free to get in touch with me, I look forward to meeting you.

My Office Hours are:
11-2 Tuesday
11-2 Wednesday
12-2 Thursday
11-2 Friday

My Email is:
avp@vuwsa.org.nz

R.C.

This week VUWSA will be holding its first Noodle Day, as part of the perpetual campaign against the inadequate living support available to students in New Zealand. Free instant noodles will be available from the VUWSA marquee in the Kelburn campus quad from 11:30 on Wednesday. The idea behind Noodle Day is that it highlights the fact that the ‘instant noodle lifestyle’ is a reality for many students in New Zealand, particularly in Wellington. Extra tight budgets leave students forced to sacrifice nutritional value and variety in their eating habits, to the detriment of both short and long term health. The VUWSA Foodbank and Student Hardship Fund provides support for students in the most desperate situations. There are people at this university who literally survive on $160 a week, borrowed from the government. Average rent in Wellington around $150 leaves little money for food, and no money when there are bills. So come along on Wednesday, get some free lunch, and remember that aside from everything else that is going on in the tertiary sector right now, we must not forget about the fight for adequate and universal living allowances.

On a much lighter note, VUWSA Welfare services, such as the Foodbank are to be extended to Te Aro campus from the first week back after mid-semester break. Foodbanks, tax refund help, and information about a range of other services such as professional advocacy will be available from a VUWSA representative every Wednesday. Te Aro students, look out for posters etc with more information
between now and then.

The VUWSA AGM is coming up quickly, so I want to issue a friendly reminder about Welfare Rep. Groups. If anybody is interested in setting up or revitalising an old Rep Group (Creche Parents? UStay residents – is your hall still completely shoddy?), now is the time to get in touch with Seamus Brady or myself so we can help you.

I will finish off by mentioning a couple of pretty big issues coming up that you should be aware of. First is the massive rise in bus fares being considered by the Wellington Regional Council – VUWSA will keep you up to date about what we are doing in response to this. And second, the government is proposing some pretty major shifts in the fundamental attitude towards employment law in New Zealand, worth is forming an opinion about.

The NPC is underway, and the opening rounds have again provided plenty of upsets. After two weeks, Counties Manukau— one of the wooden spoon favourites—top the table, as one of only three teams to have recorded two wins from two. Canterbury remains the favourite at the TAB, following a draw and a win leaving them in fourth place, while Waikato and Auckland (third and fifth respectively) are third-equal favourites.

The biggest disappointment so far has been local boys Wellington. They’re sitting in the bottom half following a narrow win over the other wooden spoon favourites Tasman, before being the victim of perhaps the biggest upset so far, with a loss to Tana Umaga’s Steelers in round two at the Cake Tin. However, at least the Lions have showed glimpses of class and fight—reason enough to remain second favourites.

Fellow Hurricane franchise sides Manawatu, Hawkes Bay and Taranaki have had vastly differing fortunes so far. The Turbos are not expected to do much more than cause a few upsets, and almost did so with a gut-wrenching 26–27 loss to Canterbury. On the other hand, the Magpies have been excellent in recent years, and hence will be disappointed with an 11–30 defeat at the hands of Bay of Plenty. This was following on from yet another strong showing against Canterbury (23-all in round one). Meanwhile, Taranaki has had a mixed start, backing up a narrow upset loss to in-form Northland with a solid win over Tasman, to currently fly the Hurricane flag in seventh place.

The surprise packages so far, other than the table-topping Steelers, have been Northland and Bay of Plenty. Despite only recording one win apiece, both have caused upsets, and been narrowly denied hard-fought victories in their other games. My favourite moment so far was Taniwha veteran David Holwell’s canny try against North Harbour—a classy left-foot step capped off by ducking under the last defender’s tackle. While it is far too early to make many predictions, there are certainly good early signs that this season could be tight and exciting. I still have faith in Wellington’s ability to finish at the top, and failing that there is always the mighty Wairarapa-Bush in the Heartland Championship.

I feel sure the sides will perform better than in the Super 14, and the All Blacks’ commanding form in the Tri Nations bodes well for Kiwi rugby on the whole.

At the time, Kevin Rudd wished him all the best and admitted “If it was me, I’d probably collapse on the first leg.” No arguments from anyone there, K-Rudd. However, while Abbott’s sporting prowess was hailed by many as a great example of pursuing a healthy lifestyle in a nation plagued by obesity, federal ministers still leapt at the chance to bring the iron man down. Questions were raised about whether Abbott’s time spent in the pool detracted from his time dedicated to developing opposition policy.

It is fair to say that Abbott isn’t the only political figure intent on keeping in shape. In the 1970s, United States President Barack Obama was a part of the Punahou High School basketball team that won a state championship. Obama’s love affair with the sport was demonstrated in a game of hoops for the troops last week; LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and others teamed up with Obama to entertain wounded troops in Washington. Vladimir Putin goes even further when it comes to fitness fanaticism. The former head of the KGB allegedly begins every day with a workout involving weights and swimming. The Russian, labelled the political world’s original action man, also made an appearance in a fitness DVD alongside Olympic Judo champion Yasuhiro Yamashita.

While detractors of Abbott argue that his obsession with 5am cycles must be of detriment to his political suitability, his commitment to personal health goes further than providing the odd publicity stunt. It demonstrates a sense of devotion and a drive that the majority of people seem to appreciate. Indeed, John Howard used daily morning walks as part of a political routine to emphasise the depiction of Kim Beazely as physically unfit and consequently undisciplined. The election on August 21 will determine whether Tony Abbott really is a political iron man, or just a running joke.

While the president has always proclaimed a tough stance on immigration, these moves have picked up steam. Last year, Sarkozy called for the Muslim burqa to be banned in public spaces. The policy has since passed by an overwhelming majority in the French National Assembly, and is now being debated in the French Senate, where it is also expected to pass.

In his most recent outburst, Sarkozy linked crime to immigration in a speech in Grenoble. This followed the death of a man of Arab origin that sparked riots and a number of death threats aimed at Grenoble police. Sarkozy says France is “suffering from 50 years of lax immigration regulation which has led to a failure of integration”. In his speech he outlined a number of measures he intends to introduce, aimed at reducing
crimes among immigrant populations.

These proposals include the reviewing of foreign-born underage offenders before they become citizens at 18, as well as the more widely reported plan to strip citizenship from immigrants who threaten the lives of police. He justified the proposals, announcing “French nationality has to be earned. You have to prove you’re worthy of it. When you shoot at police officers, you no longer have the right to call yourself French.”

Sarkozy’s measures have been slammed by critics from both ends of the political spectrum as being unworkable. Despite this, a recent opinion poll illustrated that 70 to 80 per cent of French voters actually support the measures the president has put forward. In a statement that reflects the results of the poll, Interior Minister Brice Hortefeux has been quick to dismiss these critics, claiming: “As usual Sarkozyism is out of step with the elites but in step with society.”

Hortefeux says, “When we must adapt to or confront new difficulties, we don’t hesitate to do so. We’re waging a war against insecurity. We’re on the side of the victims and we have but a sole enemy—the crooks.” Hortefeux has outlined that Sarkozy’s proposed measures would be included in bills to be debated in the French National Assembly in September.

Hortefeux has also indicated that the stripping of citizenship could be applied more broadly than in the instance announced by Sarkozy in his Grenoble speech. The Interior Minister has said these punitive measures could be applied in the instances of “female excision, human trafficking or serious acts of delinquency”.

A little over a week before his speech in Grenoble, Sarkozy had announced policies to eradicate illegal Roma
(gypsy) camps in France, saying they are “sources of trafficking, exploitation and prostitution”. His attack on the Roma people was again reactionary, following the fatal shooting of a young gypsy woman who failed to stop at a checkpoint and was subsequently shot dead, sparking riots.

The Roma in question are actually French gypsies, who have lived in the country for centuries. There are
hundreds of thousands of Roma who live in long-established French communities. Despite this, Sarkozy
directed his attack at the gypsies, who have migrated predominantly from Romania and Bulgaria in recent years. These immigrants have the right to enter France without a visa, but must attain work or residency permits in order to remain in the country for long periods of time.

300 illegal gypsy camps are to be “systematically evacuated” over the next three months, and police have since initiated this campaign. The first camp dismantled saw 100 people from the central city of Saint-Etienne dispersed, where they had been living in makeshift shelters and tents since May.

While there are undoubtedly Europe-wide issues concerning immigration policies, analysts believe Sarkozy’s actions to be motivated by an approval rating that is sliding. It has been suggested Sarkozy is implementing anti-immigration policies in order to purloin votes from the extreme-right National Front Party. This move is likely to also gain him revitalised support from the majority of heavily conservative French voters.

John Lichfield, a commentator from The Independent, says Sarkozy is continuing to make connections between crime and both legal and illegal immigrants. He alleges that these connections are “at best wilful, and at worst dishonest”.

In a recent statement, the French Socialist Party has also accused Sarkozy of “trying to distract the public’s
attention by using that old standby—provocation”.

Regardless of these criticisms, with such a high percentage of support for his recent policies, Sarkozy’s
motivations, nefarious as they may be, are likely to secure the president’s popularity. The only real chance of
impedance of these controversial policies lies with the Council of State, France’s highest administrative body,
who have indicated concerns of the unconstitutionality of Sarkozy’s policies.

My background in craft is obviously not strong. Give me a vegan cupcake recipe and I’ll fatten you up in no time, but crochet hooks give me an uncomfortable feeling that someone—hopefully the person that handed me said crochet hook—will soon lose an eye. This ineptitude is a shame: craft is now socially desirable, just like Doc Martens and oversized, horrendously patterned jerseys.

If we travel back a few decades, craft wasn’t considered that cool. Store-bought, plastic-wrapped and seen-on-TV items were lusted after, not the flawed handmade-with-love variety. Real art got stuck up in huge galleries and real artists learned their skills at art schools and academies. Next there were skilled craftspeople making functional (and beautiful) woodwork, pottery and textiles. Then, finally, you had ‘women’s work’, activities like knitting, making clothes, weaving, crochet and the like. Never given value in economic systems, this important work was marginalised and often used to reinforce traditional gender roles. For feminists of my mum’s generation, handmade craft was considered a tool to keep women downtrodden.

But craft has come back with a vengeance. The ‘Stitch and Bitch’, Etsy.com and increased art-world interest has meant that handmade is not only appreciated, it’s also economically profitable. ‘Craftivism’ is the feral grandchild of this revival. A patchwork-Frankenstein’s Monster of craft and activism, the term was created in 2003 by writer Betsey Greer to describe “a way of looking at life where voicing opinions through creativity makes your voice stronger, your compassion deeper and your quest for justice more infinite”. Which, um, sounds really good, but leaves me questioning what a craftivist actually does?

A quick rifle through the internet throws out these suggestions: knitting pink blankets for tanks; guerrilla art; and ‘knit-ins’, where knitting circles take over a public space. Feminist, anti-capitalist, anti-war, environmentalist… craftivism can be all these things. For more clarification I had a chat with local crafty-lady Raven Cretney, who is part of Nanatech, a group “passionate about reinvigorating the skills of the past and present”. Raven was unsurprisingly enthusiastic, saying “Craft can be used for all sorts of purposes: to make a statement about a political issue through knit tagging, to brighten a public space, to make clothes for someone in need or to learn and build community.”

This was encouragement enough for me. While I have no plans to finish knitting my ex’s scarf, I do have plans to knit a tea-cosy covering the Beehive, or perhaps Gerry Brownlee.

• Don’t eat too much meat. Meat is super icky on the planet—think greenhouse gasses in the form of methane, and forest destruction to raise cattle. Besides, it’s expensive.
• Do all your cooking in the oven in one chunk. Most of the energy of using the oven is in heating it up—try to co-ordinate your cooking with your flatmates.
• The microwave uses way less power—about ten per cent of the energy that an oven would. It also saves heaps of time. (And it’s oh-so-fun to watch your food spin round—it’s good for you right?)
• Cover pots when cooking to avoid heat loss. Bonus points: less steam = less moisture = less mould.
• Making pasta? Of course you are. Boil the water in the jug first, rather than on the stove.
• People don’t seem to realise, but crockpots really are super cool (and easy to find around). You get to make tea before that mid-week afternoon pub trip, not after. Your flatmates will thank me, and so will you. Looking in op-shops for old recipe books to accompany your crockpot is also super sweet.
• Don’t use your oven as a source of heat. Or to warm socks.
• Cook too much food for tea last night? Let it cool to roomish temperature, chuck it in the fridge and bam! Lunch tomorrow, no more shitty over-priced food from uni or squashed sandwiches and bruised apples.
• No matter how many times you check the fridge, unless you go food shopping, there will not be any new and exciting food in there. No chocolate milk will magically appear (I’ve been waiting, and it doesn’t), and that cold air just falls out of the fridge. You can almost see the wastage.
• When cleaning up, be sensible about it, kids. Don’t run the dishwasher if it’s only half full, don’t fill the sink to the brim to wash a little pot and always wipe down the bench.

Hang out outside a hall of residence until someone lets you in and scab free dinner 0/10
So un-hot. Seriously. Hall food sucks. It also makes you fat. If you’re not a first year, you probably don’t want to be hanging out with first years. Not that there’s anything wrong with first years, but if you’re trying to impress someone, it’s just probably not the best idea. Did I mention hall food sucks?

The Botans 6/10
You can climb trees, have a picnic (use up the leftovers in your fridge—as long as they’re tasty and mould-free), feed ducks, play on the playground, walk up hills and pash in the
bushes. It’s not exactly an original idea, but on a nice day, the Botans are a nice place to go. Fresh air and exercise. Don’t go on a wet and windy day. Nah uh.

A free entry pub quiz 4/10
Maybe only go with this option if you have a vast wealth of general knowledge or an iPhone. Pub quizzes can be tough. If you manage to place, you’ll generally get a bar tab as your prize—so at least you might be able to shout your date a drink. If you fail at placing, don’t expect a second date.

The City Library 2/10
We’re not entirely sure how a date to the City Library would go. You could have sex between the shelves, but you wouldn’t really want to do that on a first date—or would you? You could go and read picture books. Or you could quietly study together. I think the verdict is, unless you’re having sex, it’s probably not going to be a good time. Unless you’re dropping by to pick up a copy of Salient, of course.

Salient Blind Date 10/10
Free food and booze, what more could you want? Not to mention you get to go on a date with a complete stranger. Keen? Email blinddate@salient.org.nz with some info about your ideal date and your cellphone number (so we can contact you if we decide to play cupid with you). First issue back after the break will have all the gory details of last week’s blind date, ooh ah!

Te Papa 7/10
There is so much to keep you amused at Te Papa—for no cost at all! Go and look at the decaying colossal squid, push all the buttons, go in the earthquake house, look at some perplexing artwork. You’ll fill in a day just like that. Horrah! Second date prospects could be high.

Parliament 8/10
Nothing says sexy quite like the halls of power. Tours of parliament are free, and take about an hour. You get to see everything from the base isolators, to the parliamentary library, to the debating chamber. Hawt. Everyone else tends to disagree with such a high rating, but you know, whatever tickles your pickle.

It is understood that once you are in a reasonable state of consciousness in the morning, you check your emails. While most of them are updates from Facebook or spam suggesting herbal enhancers, occasionally an email with an innovative subject line will find its way through to your account. Last Tuesday was such a morning and I found myself staring at a message titled ‘holy fuck shit’.

With an overactive imagination, and still half asleep, ‘holy fuck shit’ led my brain to the extremes of zombie apocalypse, or the ability to clone dinosaurs—which will happen one
day, mark my words. But after reading the linked article and learning the Triceratops never existed, I ascertained ‘holy fuck shit’ was an acceptable lead-in.

As it turns out, Triceratops is an immature form of a Torosaurus, which is ‘palaeontology’ for some dinosaur we couldn’t give a rat’s ass about. Seriously, Torosaurus sounds like a dance move combining arm flailing and ghetto stomping, reserved for tragic spinsters at their cousins’ wedding. But scientists have realised the Triceratops’ skull shape shifts, or for all you Poké-masters out there, ‘evolves’, into the skull of an adult Torosaurus, a three-horned less-than-amazing Triceratops. Scientists are basing this knowledge on the fact no juvenile fossils of Torosaurus have been uncovered.

Dear palaeontologist, a word of advice: might I suggest digging deeper before taking my Triceratops? It was a pretty crappy thing to do. Even Microsoft Word doesn’t recognise
‘Torosaurus’. I think you may have your facts wrong. Windows XP aside, Bill Gates is nothing if thorough… Sort of. Also, I imagine you look like Ross Geller so if you’re ‘on a break’, don’t take it out on Triceratops.

A glorious, prehistoric beast, the Triceratops was best known to children as that arrogant jaundice three-horn ‘Cera’ from The Land Before Time. You know, that one that acted as the fun police and crushed the dreams of her fellow adventurers en route to the Great Valley. Despite Littlefoot’s mother saving her ass, Cera was still a righteous mole. After sitting through umpti-billion Land Before Time sequels, prequels, and tragic spin-offs, I take great pleasure in the fact she no longer exists. Shame Spielberg, that’s what you get for failing to clone dinosaurs after Jurassic Park. You’ve had over a decade. We want some action here, pal.

But like so many other items ripped away from us by science, evolution, and all things politically correct, the Triceratops is the latest casualty in what I am convinced is a war against our childhood. It starts small, the first casualty being red-tipped cigarette Spaceman Candy Sticks. But oh no, this wasn’t enough and soon escalated with some ass-tronomist just having to snatch away Pluto.

Let’s look on the bright side though, dinosaurs evolve like Pokémon and Littlefoot, the Brontosaurus that could, has finally his revenge on Spielberg.

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, the Brontosaurus isn’t real either!?

Everybody should know how to make a good brownie, and banana cake is the best way to use up old bananas. They’re both very easy recipes.

Banana Cake

Ingredients:

• 2 tablespoons butter
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 egg
• 3 bananas
• 1 1/ 2 cups flour
• 1 1/ 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 2 teaspoons milk

Method:

• Preheat oven to 175^oC/350^oF
• Melt butter
• Beat butter and sugar together, and add the egg
• Mash bananas and add to mixture
• Add flour and baking powder
• Dissolve the baking powder in the milk, and add to mixture
• Bake for 1 hour

Chocolate Brownie

Ingredients:

• 150g butter
• 6 tablespoons cocoa
• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 3 eggs
• 1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla essence
• 1 cup chocolate chips (optional)
• 3/4 cups flour
• 3/4 teaspoon baking powder

Method:

• Preheat the oven to 180^oC/355^oF
• Mix flour and baking powder
• Beat sugar and eggs separately, then add to mixture with vanilla essence
• Melt butter in a saucepan
• Mix the cocoa into the butter, then add them to mixture
• Add chocolate chips (optional)
• Bake for 25 minutes
• When they’re baked and cooled, dust with icing sugar

Tip of the week:
When baking, I always mix the baking powder with the flour before adding it to the rest of the ingredients. It helps ensure the baking powder is spread throughout the whole mixture.

Gluten-free tip:
Just like my earlier choc-chip cookie recipe, these can be made awesomely gluten-free with the aid of mashed potato. Don’t ask me how it works, it just does! Add one small potato/half a large mashed potato to the recipe before you add your gluten-free flour. It may also pay to add an extra half-cup of flour to the recipe to prevent it being too runny after adding the potato.

Firstly, if at all possible, buy from the supermarket or dairy. For the same amount of money you’d spend on an entire meal, you can get a drink or dessert as well. Dairies have TV dinners in the freezer, and they are usually of the comfort food variety, so could hit the spot. TV dinners are usually about $7, which means you can get a full meal for $15 with drink and dessert.

The supermarket has a massive range of options for dinner. You can get TV dinners for $5-12, and they take 3 minutes in the microwave. The frozens area is also good for ovenbake chips and even fatty-ish food which is still much better for you than takeaways. An entire bag of chips can cost $5 and will take ten minutes to cook. Rotisserie chicken or supermarket-Brownies and Banana Cake prepared deli food is also a great cheap option. The most important thing is an attitude shift—if you would otherwise spend $50 on Hell pizza, compare this to $50 of supermarket or dairy food, and you’ll realise just how far your money stretches.

Chinese food can be really great, but it’s a mixed bag depending on where you get it. Fisherman’s Plate on Bond Street is fantastic for healthy and cheap Vietnamese food and healthy-ish fish and chips; Aunty Mena’s (Cuba Street), or Tong’s Takeaways (Kilbirnie) are delicious but not so good for you. Aim for a meal with lean meat and tons of veg and rice, which would make for a balanced meal.

Pizza is also a mixed bag. We all love Hell, but it is expensive and you can often eat a whole one without blinking. Beware of idiot-aimed advertising—Pizza Hut, for example, has just released a “huge 14-inch pizza” which is only a fraction larger than their competitors’ regular size, so this is essentially a campaign to encourage us to spend more on a regular sized pizza. Think realistically about your order. Will it hit the spot? Can you actually afford it? Will it fill you up? I always crave Coca Cola and ice cream after pizza, so when I get pizza I often end up either broke or dissatisfied.

Fish and chips is great for filling you up but incredibly bad for you. If you can bear it, get a burger or grilled fish instead of deep fried battered fish. Burgers are often really good from fish and chip shops. Buy chips that are a chunkier cut, as they’ll have absorbed less fat in the deep frier. Aro Chips (Te Aro) deserves a mention! On the upside, fish and chips
are relatively cheap and you will feel full faster and probably eat less. But is it worth feeling ill afterwards?

Meals packed with additives/salt/ MSG/fat will glisten or be unnaturally coloured (e.g., dark brown stir fry, pink ginger, bright orange sweet and sour sauce). If you can’t tell what kind of meat it is, how it was made or the veges are unrecognisable, you could have done better. The best rule of thumb: the yummier it sounds when stoned, the worse it is for you!

Alexis Mabille’s high profile dressing can be emulated locally with Alexandra Owen’ s gold satin and jackets. Barkers’, Little Brother’s and Mandatory’s collections look upmarket out of an office context, and Cue has the remarkable ability to make me wish I had an office job with their structured combinations.

Armani Prive’s collection revolves around the moon with circular and dreamy outfits. This season Camilla and Marc have used globe shapes and Farmers has cottoned on to this with round necklines. Bianca Spender has interpreted Prive’s moon washed palette, while back on Cuba Street the new Temt is playful with light colours.

Elie Saab is always attracted to the glisten of glamour and their recent rich colouring is true to this. Saab’s couture statement of pomegranate red is noticeable in Starfish’s spring collection.

Although striking draping is harder to come across, it can be sourced in Alice McCall’s collection. Valentino is drawn to the darker side of youth fashion. From this, the Cassette Society is an edgy take on maverick youths. What’s more, popular culture’s obsession with night creatures comes out in Deadly Ponies’ menacing animal jewelry. Glassons’ up
and coming ‘Into the Woods’ campaign brings out a darker texture to the fashion scene like Lonely Hearts’ ‘What is your damage?’

The rebel runaway is explored in many young brands such as Chronicles of Never and Claude Maus. However, the clean-cut aspiration of Valentino’s work is not lost in St Augustine Academy’s subculture curiosity and Max’s and Stax’s cuts. Chanel’s couture dark tapestry is woven into Sabatini from Goodness and Devol from Rex Royal.

Stephane Rolland’s couture dons elaborate one shoulders and new necklines like Qasimi. Locally, Sera Lilly is a fan of these and even Valley Girl and Lippy have done a take on the red rouched shoulder. Rolland’s attention to the play of light on contoured materials is harder to find. However, Hailwood’s use of Satin emulates this quite well, especially in his long pants and dresses.

Whoever said couture is for the rich and famous only?

How to Have a Healthy Relationship with your Mo-billy Phone

(For those of you who have seen the seminal cinematic classic Valentine’s Day, I am not referring to that kind of relationship—thank you, Jessica Biel. Get your minds out of the gutter.)

I had a brief moment of panic just before. Okay, I’ll be honest, it was more of an existential crisis. I was bordering on a soliloquay. I couldn’t find my phone. It was there—then it was gone… Fortunately, I have mastered the art of using the landline to smoke it out. It was under my bed. And there were no messages. Bloody typical.

I should mention here that my social life isn’t so dazzling that your eyes burn to look at it. I’m not getting texts/calls every two minutes. Maybe only every five minutes, but let’s be honest—most texts are from our mums anyway. It’s not so much who is texting you, but the fact that somebody is that’s appealing. We feel loved. In touch with society. I once got a wrong number text that ran something along the lines of “hay sexi, had fun laz nyt, call me babes ;) ;) xo xo”. Awkward. But still, that little flying envelope that lights up on my screen, dancing around excitedly as it announces “New Message”—it just gets me every time.

Somewhere along the line, we became permanently attached to our phones. I mean, not having a cellphone is right up there with not having Facebook. It’s like, totes unacceptable. Essentially, cellphones facilitate communication. You can call people on them, you can text. You can even update Facebook (two birds, one stone). But when did they
become safety blankets? Why are we rendered helpless as babies when we lose them, when our batteries die, and when the Telecom robot lady voice tells us sternly that our balance is less than $5?

I say it’s time for a revolution. This week, I challenge you to leave your phone at home, for one day. It’s not like you get service in the lecture theatres anyway (I’m looking at you, KK303). It’s okay. You’ll survive. There’s actually this thing called talking, that is supposedly quite an effective form of communication. And if you find yourself spouting emo poems at the wall, just think of Hamlet. That guy really had it rough—they didn’t have cellphones back then. No, not even XT.

Combine one puffer jacket with a pair of blue jeans in a skinny style. Add a North Shore-esque haircut. In wet weather, tuck jeans into mid-calf flat-soled boots. In alternate weather situations, tuck jeans into mid-calf flat-soled boots. Extra comfort available with the substitution of jeans with jeggings. Must have large tote handbag with polished metal accents. Patent is preferable, and a bright colour means your bag will double as your “attention piece” (We are all individuals, and fashion is a fun way of expressing one’s inner self). Bag must fit a laptop for class time facies. Puffer jackets have the added benefit of doubling as sleeping bags—perfect for your midday beauty sleep. Google image search “tadpoles” and shape eyebrows accordingly.

You a diva, gurl.

Work it,
Jorje, xx.

Every day on the way to work I walk past a building-sized billboard for a certain ‘pure’ beer. It says: “No additives, no preservatives, no compromise”. It should just read “No flavour”.

Large commercial breweries brand their products like this as if to say flavour can only be given to a beer by using unnatural ingredients. I think they need to learn from the little guys.

Almost every craft beer is created using just four ingredients: water, malt, hops and yeast. Therefore, almost every craft beer qualifies for the ‘pure’ status which is given to so many bland mega-brewed lagers. Only craft beers have character, a flavour profile, something more rewarding than just cold fizziness going down your throat as a means to get drunk.

The way those four ingredients are utilised is what gives beer its character. Small breweries are run by brewers who know all the ins and outs of how to use the ingredients to create a flavoursome and balanced beer. Mega-breweries are run by accountants, who know how to pinch pennies. The easiest ways to do this is to use fewer hops (less flavour), cheaper malt (less flavour) and to shorten the condi-tioning time (worse flavour). Sure, your beer is ‘pure’. But it tastes insipid.

The phrase which always appears next to the pure moniker is ‘naturally brewed’. Huh? Naturally brewed? So there’s artificially brewed beer? No. This is another meaningless piece of marketing bullshit. If something was artificially brewed (how you would do that I’m not sure) it wouldn’t qualify as beer. Beer is created via the natural process of fermentation, carried out by yeast. All things fermented are ‘brewed naturally’. My farts are brewed naturally, but you don’t see me advertising the fact. “Smell that? No additives, no preservatives and brewed naturally!”

The point of this rant: don’t believe the billboards, believe your taste buds.

If you have any questions about this week’s beers or any comments, please contact me at davethebeerguy@gmail.com

Welcome wanderers. It is most gratifying to feel your eager eyes caress my words as ‘twere they delicate lilies in a pond of warm syrup. Your ocular grip tenderly explores every nook and cranny of my vowels and consonants. Your looks so coyly fondle my grammar. Oh, such exquisite pleasure. Oh.

Look, my soft yet strong reader, I am going to be straight with you. There is something growing between us. You know it. You can smell it. On the petri-dish of our relationship there is slowly growing a hot pink fuzz of, dare I speak it, loooooooooooove. Try as you might, you cannot deny the crackle whenever we meet, that erotic sizzle that shivers through your nervous system at the very thought of my presence. Every time we touch it is as electric as a thousand summer sunsets.

As a paean to the growing belt of lust that inextricably links us, this week’s predictions are of our next encounter, our next rendezvous. The stars have been so generous as to impart to me the intimate details of when we will next meet. Ooooooh.

For those among you who can wiggle your ears on command, our next meeting will be of a nautical disposition. We will both, unbeknown to each other, stow away on a yacht. Our hands will meet in the darkness as we scrabble from our respective hiding places deep in the depths of the Merrywink’s Seamstress (for that shall be the name of the yacht).

You will have hidden in a large crate of lime jelly crystals, while I will have ingeniously disguised myself as a bronze life-size statue of Hercules. A very convincing statue at that. You will have brought with you a torch with which you will illuminate our musty surroundings before finally falling on my stunning physique. Your gasp of erotic shock at my very presence will rumble like a warm volcano of longing.

“You… You’re Rutherford Dean! Horoscoper, love god and philanthropist!” you will utter under your already damp with romance breath. I will slowly nod my very manly assent. My finely chiseled chin cutting great arcs of power through the air, making your limpid heart beat double time. We will fall in a deep, velveteen embrace. Our dual warmths will merge into one glorious throbbing whole.

It’ll be great.

For you readers who cannot wiggle their ears on command, our encounter will be of a much more edible nature. As you start your new job at Wellington’s swankiest new eatery, you will be ecstatic to discover that I am not only a certifiable genius of the horoscopian, theatrical and written arts, but I also excel in the world of mouth fun. Over the hot pots and clattering plates we will literally dance a metaphorical tango of desire. The weight of lust hanging in your heart will quickly become too, too much to bear, and at the end of your first shift you will tempt me into the store room.

Salient reads the VUWSA half-year reports, gives you the condensed version

Craig Carey
Welfare offIcer
Not entirely sure what the Welfare Officer does… From Craig’s half-year report it sort of looks like they help out the Vice-President (Welfare). Three pages worth of helping, which is a pretty good showing. Craig has helped provide a tax refund service for students, supported students with StudyLink and WINZ issues, sat on the Food and Beverages Committee for Campus Hub, oh and he helped with free flu shot publicity, and Stress-Free Study Week breakfasts. He’s yet to come up with his own welfare initiative, but he hopes to do that this trimester. He’s an execeteer who gets on and does what he’s told. We hope he’s not whipped.

Quotable Quote: “I do everything that I tell people I will do, and on time, without attracting any controversy within the VUWSA executive/ management or wider membership.”

BONUS! $800

Caitlin Dunham
Women’s rIghts offIcer
All feminists should be like Caitlin. She’s approachable, friendly and really passionate about her position. Sure there were a couple of misses during Women’s Fest, but the abortion panel, DIY sanitary pads and feminist pub quiz were all well attended. She’s been active in liaising with groups like ALRANZ and Family Planning, and she got in the paper and got mentioned in parliament. And the women’s issue of Salient this year was fucking awesome. VUWSA is blessed to have such an awesome WRO. And she got a full-on bonus.

Quotable Quote: Under weaknesses—“Highly strung”, “Boisterous”, “Can get too caught up in office politics”.

BONUS! $850

Kurt Sharpe
Acting Queer Officer
For someone filling in the position of Queer Officer, Mr Sharpe has worked his butt off. He’s been involved in organising the Queer Tertiary Students’ Survey, the Queer Mentoring Programme, he’s written his column, worked with UniQ and other queer groups at a national level. He’s also been updating and collecting resources for queer students. Kurt’s obviously an excellent communicator, and in some respects it’s a little disappointing he didn’t stand for the position at the by-election. Tom Reed has got some big shoes to fill.

Quotable Quote: Kurt’s half-year report is so ultra professional there are no note worthy quotes. Sigh. Good work.

BONUS! $650 (the full amount Kurt was eligible for)

Alan Young
Activities Officer
Dear Alan got a mere $125 worth of bonus of the $850 he was eligible for. Reading his half-year report, it’s not hard to see why. A number of planned events and activities were
either canned altogether—an Orientation Treasure Hunt?— or postponed. The VUWSA Poker Series was plagued by location troubles, but here’s hoping VUWSA Dress Up Day
takes off. One bonus point for being brave enough to wear one of those hideous orange ‘Save our Services’ t-shirts on multiple occasions.

Quotable Quote: “The speed dating was successful in bringing students who were interested in having conversations with other when otherwise they might not have had the chance with school work.”

BONUS! $125

Bridie Hood
Campaigns Officer and Acting Vice-President (Education)
Holy shit this girl’s done heaps. And to top it all off, she’s really nice. Bridie has done a whole bunch of stuff (and when I say a whole bunch it means so much I can’t actually fit it in) promoting the class rep system, the faculty delegate system, and she’s poured her heart and soul into the 2010 VUWSA Alternative Student Guide. She’s sat on a whole pile of
boards and committees (seriously, too many to name). She’s handed in her columns on time, and she likes to submit them in weird fonts (humour FTW). You go girl! She says her two weaknesses are institutional knowledge and ye olde self-confidence when dealing with big scary university folk, but with time we’re sure Bridie’s gonna be one super VP.

Quotable Quote: “I am becoming more confident in my position and my knowledge and I will continue to fight the sausage fest.”

BONUS! Not eligible

Seamus Brady
Vice-President (Welfare) and Acting Vice President (Administration)
We’re pretty sure Seamus could do his job with his eyes closed. His half-year report is six pages long. How does one even begin to summarise? Food bank, flu shots, tax advice,
StudyLink, Rep Groups, Stress-Free Study Week (and thanks for the cereal), Campus Angels, Student Finance Hardship Committee, welfare publications, columns, Orientation,
Education (Freedom of Association) Bill, submissions, VUWSA Audit and Finance Committee, VUWSA Alternative Student Guide, SSALAC, VUWSA Trust, Publications Committee,
Performance Management Committee, NZUSA. Oh yeah, and Seamus helped Max heaps. Seamus is a library of information about VUWSA and has a pretty darn good idea
about how stuff works around these parts. VUWSA will be at a loss when Seamus leaves.

Quotable Quote: It was a tie between under strengths, “Down to earth and not a crazy”, and under weaknesses, “I can get caught up in the VUWSA bubble”. We’re pleased you’re not a crazy too, Seamus.

BONUS! Not eligible

Zachary Dorner
Environmental Officer
Zack is another one of those hard-working execeteers who quietly gets on with his work without complaint or controversy. We have a revitalised VUWSA vege garden, thanks to Zack and Gecko, and Zack has regularly kept in contact with clubs. He proposed motions at the IGM and he’s created healthy student debate about environmental issues. Zack has launched the Warm My Flat campaign, and drafted a Sustainability Policy for VUWSA. Zack should also be proud of his efforts in helping organise the Environment Issue of Salient that coincided with Environment Week. Kia ora.

Quotable Quote: So this is actually from Zack’s most recent work report, but it is awesome. “Make sure Environment Issue of Salient goes off without a hitch. Got Sarah too many articles, all on time—Sarah Robson loved me.”

James Sleep
educatIon offIcer
James’ half-year report was not included in the exec packs for the meeting where the reports were to be presented—it was late. Salient requested a copy of James’ half-year report from Prez Max Hardy. We got it, eventually. He’s done a few things—he helped with class reps, the VUWSA Alternative Student Guide, Orientation and Stress-Free Study Week. He organised the Education Action Group. He went to the NZUSA Conference. He was away for three reporting periods. There was also that incident with the column. Sigh. He admits time allocation and setting priorities have been problems—less time overseas perhaps?

Quotable Quote: Point 4 under weaknesses—“…” It is actually just “…”

BONUS! Zilch, zero, nothing

Max Hardy
President
Max’s half-year report is a whopping 13 pages long. It looks like it’s at 1.5 spacing, but still, it’s really long. If you can churn out that many words Max, it’s surprising you struggle with a 400-word column every week. As much as we mock our dear leader—we mean—president, he’s not doing too bad a job. He’s in touch with the issues affecting students on campus, and in tertiary education more broadly speaking. Max is constantly at meetings (try arranging a regular time to meet—it’s near impossible), and he is constantly talking about new initiatives, new committees, new reviews, new policies, and what he chatted to the Vice-Chancellor about (well, the stuff we’re allowed to know anyway). Consultation on the Student Services Levy, a joint venture between the university and VUWSA, is probably one of the more notable achievements this year, although we are still waiting on the outcome of this. Yup, there’s still stuff to be worked on, particularly in terms of communication and the “public face” of VUWSA, but I guess at least he’s keeping out of trouble (no ‘I heart my penis’ t-shirts), and at least he’s approachable (no comment). It just makes for less interesting news stories.

Quotable Quote: “Salient is within budget and the overall cost of Salient has reduced very substantially from 2009.”

Fraser Pearce and Alice Pan both resigned, so were not obliged to submit half-year reports. We’re a little disappointed we didn’t get to read Fraser’s. Sigh.

1. Who are you backing in Academic Idol?
2. What is the best way to keep warm at night?
3. Holidays soon! What are you planning on doing?
4. What animal would be your patronus?
5. Do you know any German?

Clara
21
Law and Politics

1. Marc Wilson—his poem looks cool. Better than the rest.
2. Have your flatmates in bed. Boyfriend and et cetera too. An orgy.
3. My bach on the beach and Vespa around Tuscany.
4. Giraffe—that would totally suit my height.
5. Ja. Das ist echt geil.

Elly
19
Engineering

1. Pondy!
2. Hot water bottle, especially ones with the furry stuff.
3. Comp assignment, unfortunately.
4. Mutant axolotl.
5. I know this one… scheißenhausen… Sadly.

Amelia
21
BA—Psychology, Criminology and Anthropology

1. Marc Wilson.
2. Hot water bottle.
3. Road trip!
4. An eagle.
5. Yes I do, I can speak a bit… Du bist… [fill in the blank]

Vicky
20
Commerce, Psychology and Law

1. Dean Knight.
2. Hot shower before bed and then cuddle a hot water bottle… Or seven.
3. Going back home for a week. Possibly go snowboarding—and get owned.
4. A black panther.
5. No, but I know Chinese.

Hollie
20
History

1. Haven’t been. Charlotte from the history faculty should’ve been in it.
2. Spooning.
3. Working! I live far away and would like to rent a room close to work for two weeks.
4. Cat.
5. Yes, I actually take German—“Frieden, Liebe und barfuß.”

Sarah
20
Law and Politics

1. No one.
2. Hot water bottle… My hottie!
3. Sleeping. On a bed of clouds.
4. A meerkat.
5. Yes, extensive Scheiße.

Christine
18
Engineering

1. Pondy, but I did like Marc’s poem.
2. Lots of blankets!
3. Forgetting about assignments until the last day and video games.
4. Axolotl… Or possibly the mutant strand.
5. There was this phrase from The Hungry Caterpillar which my German teacher once read… Ice waffle comes to mind.

When someone ends up having sex against their wishes it isn’t just one of those expected experiences in life. It is sexual assault.

Potential effects of sexual assault on the victim include:

• low self esteem
• drug and alcohol abuse
• depression/anxiety
• general distrust
• fear
• dysfunctional destructive personal relationships
• fear for the safety of their children

The accused person, whether they are innocent or guilty, can ponder the prospect of:

• 20 years maximum prison penalty for rape
• 20 years maximum penalty for unlawful sexual connection
• Substantial legal costs, and a in small country such as New Zealand,
• a lifetime social stigma which may include their friends, family and work colleagues

Factors which can increase a person’s risk of experiencing a sexual assault include:

• Impaired judgement related to the effects of alcohol and drug use
• Separation from friends who care about you
• Taking unnecessary risks such as trusting people you would not necessarily trust if you were sober or drug-free
• Age—most sexual assault complaints involve young people who are known to each other or move within similar social circles

Issues related to consent

Consent is when a sober and rational person is situated so as to be able to make a rational decision upon the matter to which he or she consents. Being asleep on a couch after a night of drinking in town does not mean you are consenting to have sex. Using aggressive or threatening behaviour to intimidate someone into having sex is wrong. Ignoring a person’s verbal and non-verbal requests to stop is sexual assault. Consent can be withdrawn after starting to have sex.

When sex is consensual it is expected that people are able to negotiate boundaries, including what type of sex they are comfortable with having and when and where they have sex. Someone does not respect or love or even care for you if they expect you to have sex when they know you do not want to.

To protect yourself and your future, do not have sex with any one without their consent. To help reduce risk of sexual assault, make a safety plan before you go into town, to a party or use alcohol and other mind-altering drugs. Stick to the plan. Know how you are going to get home safely. Stay with people you trust, be aware of how much alcohol you are drinking, eat food and keep an eye on your glass. If walking home, stay together and keep to main streets, taking ‘shortcuts’ through parks and dimly lit lanes is not a good idea.

The police provide 24-hour expert care for anyone who has been assaulted. If a sexual assault occurs, dial 111 to contact the police as soon as you can. Where possible, a victim should preserve their clothing unwashed and hold off having a shower and going to the toilet until they have spoken to police. The police have a close working relationship with Rape Crisis—they offer counselling and support throughout the process no matter what a victim decides is right for them.

The police will also be able to arrange specialist medical care which may involve treatment for physical injuries, the administration of prophylactic antibiotics to protect against some STIs, and if appropriate, the emergency contraceptive pill to reduce the risk of pregnancy. Contacting the police does not mean you have to lay charges.

During working hours you can contact the Student Health Service, 463 5308. You can also contact Constable Baz Murfin, who is the Community Police Officer for Victoria University
on 381 2001 or at barry.murfin@police.govt.nz.

Email suggestions for an upcoming ‘Animal of the Week’ to elle@salient.org.nz.

ANIMAL FACT!
Animals would win the Olympics if they were allowed to enter.

Sometimes it’s tough deciding what you’re going to write about in your editorial. Today is one of those days. I was presented with a few options via Facebook:

• An editorial about my friend’s friend Ed. (Who is Ed? I don’t know Ed. Is this some sick, lame joke?)
• An editorial about how awesome the editor of another student magazine is. (You’re cool, but I’m not going to devote an entire editorial to you. And the others might get jealous.)
• The annual editorial about how hard it is to write an editorial. (NO, I am not going to be the first in student media to do it this year.)
• Another editorial about the VUWSA by-election. (Read the news section, I can’t be bothered venting my frustrations on the matter twice.)
• An editorial about how I would choose my Gmail over the life of an adorable kitten. (I’m sorry, I live on Gmail, the kitten must die.)
• Chris Carter (The poor guy’s suffered enough—not cool John Key, btw, not cool.)

Inspiration, as you can see, is pretty hard to come by. I even read the editorial that’s going in Critic this week. That didn’t help either. I’m actually stuck. Decision-making sucks. Please note this is not an editorial about how hard it is to write an editorial. Really, it’s not.

The default option is to tell you what’s in Salient this week. New Zealand has long shrugged off its reliance on the ‘mother country’ Brtitain, and slowly but surely Asia, and particularly East Asia, is becoming a more important player in our political, economic and even social relations.

Debate surrounding our relationship with China is ongoing, and is unlikely to end any time soon. Questions over issues such as human rights and labour standards still linger, and influence debate in New Zealand, at least about whether or not we should be seen to be fostering these ties. The fallout from Russel Norman’s Tibetan flag protest, and outcry over a Chinese-backed proposal to buy the Crafar farms, show that there are still issues that need to be negotiated and debated by New Zealanders regarding our relationship with China.

David Smith looks into the issue of the right to freedom of expression, using the Norman protest as a case study. Why don’t we hear about conflicts in Central Asia in the news? One of the feature writers investigates why we don’t know much about what goes on in some former Soviet states—are we too busy worrying about Afghanistan and the Middle East? Not to mention we’ve got Academic Idol in there, the VUWSA by-election results and all sorts of other goodies and surprises.

You’ll see on the back cover of this week’s issue we have conveniently provided you with a sweet cut-out mask so you can pretend to be the VUWSA President for a day. We’ve even provided you with some suggested phrases, to make the experience all the more genuine.

That wasn’t so hard after all. Have a good week. Oh and I wasn’t that serious about picking my Gmail over a cute, adorable kitten.

Salient Editor Sarah Robson last week decried VUWSA’s fall from our supposed position as the “bastion of student culture”. Funny. We have never attempted to be that. Does anybody particularly want us to? VUWSA has never been the “centre” of student culture as Sarah’s revisionist history suggests.

VUWSA is a representative organisation that exists to ensure that student interests are advocated for and protected. If VUWSA is performing well one of the things it does is facilitate and promote the development of student culture(s). But our job is not to be the centre of it.

VUWSA provides the magazine that you are reading now primarily because it allows for the development of a student community by providing an outlet for communication and debate. Last time Academic Idol was run, it was a great example of how VUWSA can bring the disparate groups of the University together. I hope it is as successful again this time. Whether the VUWSA By-Election garners more votes than a for-fun Salient run poll with less credibility than a Zimbabwean election is not a good question to ask. Ideally, both would have high turnouts for different reasons.

Whilst never being the “centre of student culture”, whatever that means, VUWSA has consistently supported the development of a culture and community at Victoria. I will give you a number of examples.

We have set up, funded, provided meeting space for and supported countless clubs, societies and representative groups over the years. Many of which are are now “bastions of student culture”. The University population is large and VUWSA recognises that a job is often done better when it is devolved to smaller groups. The PGSA, the Law Students Society, VicComm, the Pacifica Students Council and STUDiO for example all do a fantastic job and that is why VUWSA funds and supports their efforts. If other students set up groups for other sectors of the student community we will support them. Should VUWSA organise the a Law Ball? No, LSS can do it better and VUWSA should help them.

We are funding the development of a “Campus Hub” in Kelburn. This massive project will transform our campus and give it a student-centred heart. It will be the most important development in promoting student culture at Kelburn in a decades. In the past we have funded the building of the new library, the Student Union Building (which provides some of the only exclusive spaces available for non-academic student activity) and the Recreation Centre.

Recently we have ensured a completely new Retail Strategy which is geared towards dramatically improving the quality of the cafes and bars on campus. The Union Hall is being revamped by VUWSA and will once again be a major Wellington gig venue. VUWSA organises Orientation, Re-Orientation, welcome packs, clubs days, Team Victoria’s participation at University Games and Snow Games and hundreads of events around the year. We provide Salient and fund the VBC 88.3 FM.

It is true that campuses in cities more boring than Wellington have a livelier student culture because the city doesn’t offer much else. Wellington offers a lot, and VUWSA doesn’t need to fight that, we need to respond to the particular student body at Victoria.

VUWSA gives students the ability to debate and have a direct say on what services are available on campus, what sort of education they receive and where their fees go. Not all students take up the opportunity, but it is very important that they can.

VUWSA can and should improve. We need a PR and communications overhaul, which will take time. But we should not ignore the great things that our organisation makes possible now.

VUWSA: It’s your association.
 

VUWSA is your student association. It is controlled by students, for students.

VUWSA is an inclusive organisation that encourages all students to participate in strengthening on-campus student culture, improve the quality of education we receive, and be a strong voice in the wider community, as a community of learners.

Some talk in last week’s Salient about the lack of student culture and activism at Victoria University got me thinking.

In the last 25 years there have been several mass protests against the direction of tertiary education in New Zealand – one of the biggest protests being against the introduction of the student loan system.

In the last few years, student activism has been almost frowned upon.

Student engagement in issues affecting students seems to be at a low, but as discussed in last week’s Salient, some people believe Victoria University is no longer the vibrant, cultured university it used to be.

As a second year student, I don’t claim to fully understand what sort of university experience students enjoyed, or didn’t enjoy, before coming to Victoria in 2009.  

If it is the case that student culture and activism is at an all time low, then it’s the responsibility of us as students to create a university that is a vibrant hub of culture and activity.

I agree with the editor of Salient – VUWSA must actively engage students in order to be the university of culture, the university of engagement, the university that is involved in wider society.

However, in turn, it’s important to recognise that VUWSA is an organisation that is made up of students, and controlled by students.

Therefore, I call on you to take control of your student association.

Do something this week to engage with the work being done on campus to ensure students have a strong voice, get the best quality education possible, and have fun in the process.

Come along to the Education Action Group meeting (5pm on Wednesday, ground floor Student Union Building), come to the next Student Representative Council meeting (a forum for all students), write a letter to Salient, join a club, or another club, read your student president’s column, run for the VUWSA executive next month.

We must grasp the potential we have as students influence and shape tertiary education discourse and narrative in New Zealand.

It’s imperative we as students come together as a strong collective to make a campus that is fun, lively, social and cultured.

I’m optimistic that if we do this, it will help to bury the stereotype that 21st century students, particularly Gen Y, are a bunch of apathetic, lazy, self-interested New Zealanders.

It rests with us.
 
James
Education.officer@vuwsa.org.nz

]]> http://www.salient.org.nz/columns/education-officer-james-sleep/feed 3 http://www.salient.org.nz/columns/education-vice-president-bridie-hood http://www.salient.org.nz/columns/education-vice-president-bridie-hood#comments Sun, 08 Aug 2010 18:17:48 +0000 Bridie Hood http://www.salient.org.nz/?p=17755

Kia Ora all,

Class Representatives

Class Representatives. Why do we have them I hear you ask? Because they provide an important democratic role at this university. They ensure that you are getting a fair deal, help find areas for improvement within the university and they provide valuable feedback to fellow students, faculties, VUWSA and the University in general. It is an effective way that students can contribute to the direction of Victoria University!

We have just finished our first week of training, but if you are a class rep and still haven’t been trained, there are still sessions available!

Basic Training Sessions (for students who have NOT been class representatives before):

Tuesday 10th August, 3.15pm
Meeting Room 2, Student Union Building, Kelburn

Wednesday 11th August, 10am
Meeting Room 3, Student Union Building, Kelburn
 
Supplementary Training (for previous class reps):
Thursday 12th August, 3pm
RWW501, Pipetia

Either send your RSVPs to evp@vuwsa.org.nz or if you are unable to, just turn up on the day.

This trimester we have included supplementary trainings, for students who have been class reps before, to work on their communication and decision making skills. These are being facilitated by Glenda Weston, who has worked closely with students before, leading workshops and seminars for Student Learning Support Service and the VUW Counselling Service.

Gettin’ involved

I think Sarah’s editorial last week made a lot of us start thing about the ‘campus life’ at Vic University. So much so I know James is writing his column about this. Over the rest of the trimester there are a lot of things to get involved with on campus, so make the most of them! University isn’t just about studying! Two of the biggies include;

• Fee setting: Oh fun! Remember last year, there were eggs thrown at the VC and everything! Not that I condone that sort of behavior, but it was rather exciting!
• VUWSA General Elections: Go on! Do it! Be crazy! Enter the world of student politics. Or at least vote right? This is YOUR association, YOU choose what should happen.

If all else fails email me, that’s a way to get involved! What are we doing well? What are we doing badly? What changes do you want to see? What new services should we be providing?

<3

Bridie
evp@vuwsa.org.nz

]]> http://www.salient.org.nz/columns/education-vice-president-bridie-hood/feed 0 http://www.salient.org.nz/columns/fisaco1 http://www.salient.org.nz/columns/fisaco1#comments Sun, 08 Aug 2010 18:16:02 +0000 Tom McDonald http://www.salient.org.nz/?p=17758

Formula One has continued to be rife with controversy in recent years, and following the widely publicised Max Mosley scandal, this year has been no different. The season is starting to reach an epic climax, with the top five drivers separated by less than a single win following the Hungarian Grand Prix. However, the last two races in particular have been marred by intra-team shenanigans.

The illegal utilisation of team tactics has been under the spotlight, with Ferrari having already been convicted and fined $100,000. Felipe Massa was indirectly instructed to let more likely championship contender Fernando Alonso pass him at the German Grand Prix (“Fernando is faster than you”), while leading a Ferrari one-two. Veteran V8 driver Russell Ingall has said that if he was told to let a teammate pass while leading a race, he would have given team management the “one finger salute”. The outspoken Australian asserted that Formula One had no credibility remaining, and that if he wanted to see a manufactured sporting result, he would watch Pro Wrestling.

The incident resonates back to the antics of Michael Schumacher and his team back in his glory days with Ferrari. Ferrari has been widely criticised for constantly forcing long-time teammate Rubens Barrichello to allow Schumacher to pass him. The tables were turned somewhat at the Hungarian Grand Prix, when Barrichello passed Schumacher late in the race to claim the last race point. Schumacher’s infamous questionable sportsmanship came to the forefront again, as he nearly forced Barrichello into the wall by closing the gap dangerously late.

There was also rumour at Hungary that Red Bull’s Sebastien Vettel had been instructed to maximise the distance between himself and leader teammate Mark Webber behind the safety car, in order to give Webber time to pit. Red Bull fervently denied this, and in reality this does seem farfetched, given Vettel’s bemusement at his drive-through penalty (received for slipping further than ten car lengths back)—stating that he did not know what it was for at the time. Additionally, Vettel and Webber’s rocky relationship—which climaxed when the pair collided at the Turkish Grand Prix—would make the use of team tactics seem highly unlikely.

Despite the controversy surrounding Formula One etiquette, this season looks set to go right down to the wire, for both the Drivers’ and Constructers’ Championships, with Red Bull leading McLaren by just eight points and Webber only four ahead of second-placed Lewis Hamilton going into the Belgium Grand Prix. With seven races left, Ferrari cannot be counted out yet either, and it is nigh on impossible to pick a winner from the top five drivers.

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